


Give Me A Chance To Be Yours

by lillupon



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Childhood Friends, Denial of Feelings, Friends to Lovers, Jealous Kim Mingyu, Love Confessions, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Oblivious Kim Mingyu, Pining, Roommates, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-25
Updated: 2019-10-18
Packaged: 2020-09-26 03:48:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 21,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20383177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lillupon/pseuds/lillupon
Summary: “I love you.”“Uhhhhh,” Mingyu said intelligently. “Okay? I love you, too?”Maybe he should have taken a hint given the way Wonwoo was looking at him, dark eyes gleaming with intensity and the colour high in his cheeks. Wonwoo was standing with his shoulders squared, chin tipped up in challenge, and fists clenched at his side. He looked like he was two seconds away from busting Mingyu’s nose. But Mingyu had about two functioning brain cells, and he was still startled by the way Wonwoo had accosted him in the hallway as he was lumbering to the toilet to take a piss.Wonwoo confesses his love to Mingyu. Mingyu reacts poorly.





	1. Chapter 1

“I love you.”

“Uhhhhh,” Mingyu said intelligently. “Okay? I love you, too?”

Maybe he should have taken a hint given the way Wonwoo was looking at him, dark eyes gleaming with intensity and the colour high in his cheeks. Wonwoo was standing with his shoulders squared, chin tipped up in challenge, and fists clenched at his side. He looked like he was two seconds away from busting Mingyu’s nose. But Mingyu had about two functioning brain cells, and he was still startled by the way Wonwoo had accosted him in the hallway as he was lumbering to the toilet to take a piss.

Wonwoo’s jaw was clenched tight, the muscle there ticking. Wonwoo had always had a serious air about him, quiet and patient and stingy with his smiles. But Mingyu had never seen him quite like this: face so sharp and hard that he looked carved from the palest marble. Jesus, he really looked like he was going to knock Mingyu out. 

“Want to play Overwatch?” Mingyu asked.

“I love you as in: I’m _ in _ love with you,” Wonwoo said. His voice trembled. “As in, romantic, sexual love.”

At first glance, Wonwoo might seem laid-back and nonchalant, but Mingyu knew him better than that. When Wonwoo set his mind to something, he pursued it with a relentless determination. This time, what he had set his mind on was getting his feelings across.

Wonwoo continued, “I’ve loved you since we were in middle school, and I thought the feelings would go away, but they haven’t. It’s gotten worse since we started college and starting rooming together, and I can’t ignore it anymore. So, this is me confessing to you.”

Mingyu blinked once, twice. And then he did the worst possible thing one could do when confronted by a confession from their best friend of fifteen years:

He laughed.

It was a short, barking laugh that was borne of shock. He immediately swallowed the sound, pressing a fist to his mouth to contain further outbursts, but the damage had already been done.

Wonwoo had deflated, eyes downcast. The corners of his mouth were twisted downward in disappointment or defeat or discomfort, or all three.

“I’m sorry. That came out wrong,” Mingyu said, scrambling to rectify the situation even though he had yet to process it fully. “It’s just… You caught me off guard, that’s all. I mean, it sort of came out of nowhere, and—well, it’s hard to believe.” 

“Yeah, I find it hard to believe myself,” Wonwoo muttered, more to himself than anything. “Given your reaction, I can only assume you don’t feel the same way about me, and that’s f-fine—” he stumbled over his words here, voice catching, “—I get that things don’t always work out. But I just, well. I just wanted you to know.”

“Um.” Mingyu had received numerous confessions in the past, from boys as well as girls. But none from his best friend, and none as earnest and open-hearted as this. Stilted, he said, “Thank you for telling me. I’m flattered you think that highly of me.” 

Wonwoo snorted. "Of course you are. You have the biggest head out of everyone I know. Every confession you get feeds your ego. You're going to be ten times more insufferable now."

Now Mingyu was confused. He had been rather charmed by Wonwoo's heartfelt declaration of love, but now it appeared he was being insulted. The mood had changed so fast it nearly gave him whiplash. He realised, then, what Wonwoo was trying to do. Wonwoo was trying to return to their previous status quo, where they bickered and hassled each other the way close friends tended to do. It meant Wonwoo was hoping he would respond in his usual cocky way.

"Well, yeah. It feels good to be wanted," Mingyu said. He seldom turned down a confession, willing to go on at least one date. He'd never find The One if he closed doors before he had a chance to poke his head inside and look around, right? But he preferred the soft curves and sweet-smelling perfume of women to the hard planes of another man's body. Plus, Wonwoo was his best friend, and Mingyu was happy as things were. _ They _ were happy. No sense messing it all up.

Mingyu inhaled, choosing his next words with care. "Look, thank you for telling me this. I know it must have been hard for you. I love you too—but not like that. You're my best friend. You mean a lot to me, bro." He winced as he said that. Wonwoo probably didn't appreciate being called 'bro' right now. He hedged, "Can we... Can we still be friends?"

"Yes, of course we can still be friends, you ass." Wonwoo swiped a hand over his eyes, and oh boy, he wasn't crying, was he? He met Mingyu's gaze again, eyes free of tears, and Mingyu let go of the breath he had been holding.

Mingyu offered a tentative grin, and Wonwoo smiled back, a small and tremulous thing.

*

Mingyu tipped his face up to meet the warm spray of water. He went through the motions of his morning shower in a half-daze, shampooing, washing his face, then scrubbing his body. He ran a soapy bath pouf over his arms and chest, then his belly. His muscles were finally starting to relax, made taut by his workout at the gym earlier.

Wonwoo was usually an early riser, but when Mingyu woke up this morning, his bedroom door was firmly closed. They hadn't spoken since the previous night. After his confession, Wonwoo had mumbled that he was going to get some air and stepped out into the January dark. Mingyu had let him go. They both needed the space to think. Wonwoo returned hours later, and Mingyu had caught him by the wrist before he could retreat to his room. "We're going to be okay, right?" Mingyu had asked, and Wonwoo, without meeting his eyes, had nodded several times and said, "Of course we are."

Wonwoo had been the one true constant in his life, and Mingyu wasn't going to let anything come between their friendship. They had grown up on the same street, went to the same elementary, middle, high school, then university. Mingyu's friends had changed over the years. At one point, he had even mixed with the kind of crowd his parents had warned him about, but Wonwoo had always been there. In his second year of university, Mingyu settled into the friend group he had now, and Wonwoo was still here. Still his best friend. 

Mingyu groaned, letting his forehead thunk against the cool tiles. 

He had always admired Wonwoo. Wonwoo was crazy smart and had a cool, untouchable exterior; Mingyu was big and dumb and loud, and his younger self had been starstruck by the fact that Jeon Wonwoo had chosen to sit beside him. _ Him _, over Seungkwan, who had a set of 120 gel pens. While Mingyu had never thought of his best friend in that way, he still had eyes. He could tell that Wonwoo was handsome with his angled features and wide, straight-teethed smile—on the rare occasions that he did smile. Mingyu thought he was pretty good looking himself, but Jeonghan had said plenty of times that was all he had going for him. He should have been the furthest thing from Wonwoo's type. 

And yet he turned out to be Wonwoo's type exactly. 

Wonwoo liked him. Jesus. He still had a hard time believing it. Maybe ‘like’ wasn't even the right word—Wonwoo had said love. People didn't ‘like’ someone for ten years, did they? They _ loved _.

It made sense now, why Wonwoo never seemed interested in being with anyone. He had gone on a handful of dates over the years; someone as good-looking as Wonwoo couldn’t make it through high school and university without receiving a few confessions. But those first dates seldom led to a second date, and never a serious relationship. It was sweet, but a little sad, too, the way Wonwoo had held out for him. While Mingyu was dating girl after girl, Wonwoo had watched from afar, wanting. If it were himself, Mingyu didn't think he would be able to bear it. It was like those dramas that Mingyu loved so much. He always had a soft spot for childhood friends turned lovers, and now he was in the same situation.

With a sigh, Mingyu hung up his bath pouf and soaped up his hands. He reached between his legs to wash himself, the touch perfunctory. He was half-hard, the way he always got when unwinding beneath a warm shower and had some privacy to himself. The walls of their apartment were thin, and Mingyu could be loud, so he preferred not to jerk it in his room.

He wondered if Wonwoo ever thought of him while touching himself. _ I’m in love with you, _ Wonwoo had said. _ As in, romantic, sexual love. _ So the answer was probably. Since Mingyu was a nosy son of a bitch, he had, at some point, thought of Wonwoo’s uneventful sex life and what kinks got him hot. Now, he had to acknowledge that Wonwoo’s fantasies could involve him.

Mingyu turned the dial to make the water colder. He wasn’t going to think about Wonwoo masturbating while he had his own dick in hand. 

He finished up washing and stepped out of the shower. He must have been here for half an hour. Soon, Wonwoo would be banging on the door, yelling at him for using up all the hot water. Mingyu grabbed a towel off the hook and wrapped it around his waist, ruffling his hair dry with another one. 

When he opened the door, he came nose-to-nose with Wonwoo. 

“Oh, good morning,” said Mingyu. 

Wonwoo quickly took a step back. “H-hi,” he said, not quite meeting Mingyu’s gaze. His eyes flickered to Mingyu’s chest, then down to his stomach, and Mingyu honestly could not explain why he flexed his abs, as though he was trying to impress. It was instinct, he told himself, whenever someone was checking him out. 

Because that was what Wonwoo was doing, wasn’t it? Checking him out. Mingyu’s mouth felt cotton-dry all of a sudden. He had been hitting weights at the gym more often. He knew he had put on muscle, and he couldn’t help but wonder if Wonwoo liked what he saw.

"The bathroom is all yours if you want it," Mingyu said.

The tips of Wonwoo's ears turned pink. "Right. Thanks." Hurriedly, he slipped past Mingyu and shut the door behind him.

*

As much as Mingyu told himself that he didn’t mind, that he was actually flattered, and wished he could return Wonwoo’s feelings, things still felt awkward between them, even a week later. Or maybe Mingyu was just projecting. The worst part was that he knew Wonwoo was trying to keep things normal between them. It made Mingyu feel like a grade-A asshole.

Mingyu was making a simple dinner of barbecue spareribs and stir-fried vegetables when Wonwoo returned from his evening class.

“I’m in the kitchen,” Mingyu called.

Wonwoo came up behind him. “What are you cooking?” he asked, placing a hand on the small of Mingyu’s back and peering over his shoulder. It was something he had always done, and Mingyu had always found the touch comforting, even pressing closer. But the gesture meant something else now that he knew Wonwoo liked him. Suddenly, all the innocuous touches they shared—all the times Mingyu had hugged Wonwoo from behind and dropped his chin on the other’s shoulder, all the times Wonwoo had fallen asleep against him—seemed a lot less innocent.

Mingyu tensed. 

“Sorry,” Wonwoo said. He stepped back, mouth twisted in a half-smile

“It’s okay,” Mingyu stammered.

“It isn’t.” Wonwoo sighed. “I made things weird between us, didn’t I?”

_ Yes, you kind of did, _Mingyu thought, but he recalled the crushed expression on Wonwoo’s face after Mingyu had rejected him, how Wonwoo had been determined to keep their friendship the same, and he couldn’t bring himself to say it. 

“No,” Mingyu said instead. “It’s not you. It’s me. I’m the weird one.”

Wonwoo snorted out a laugh. “Well, I won’t deny that. Still. I’m sorry.”

“Wonwoo,” Mingyu said firmly. “If anything, I’m the one who should be sorry. It’s cool. We’re cool. I was just surprised, that’s all. I never expected that you liked me, and I’m still trying to wrap my head around it.

Mingyu rooted through the cupboards and drawers for plates, bowls, and utensils. Without a word, Wonwoo took them from him and began to set the table. The kitchen was small and cramped, but they moved easily around each other without bumping elbows. Wonwoo spooned kimchi and leftover soy-glazed potatoes onto plates. The rice had finished cooking, and Mingyu fluffed the rice before scooping two portions into bowls.

Lately, he had been thinking a lot about how close they were. He was naturally affectionate, while Wonwoo was more cat-like: picky about the people he touched, and the people who touched him. It had taken a long time for Wonwoo to warm up to him and start leaning into the hugs Mingyu gave him. Over the years, Mingyu had grown so comfortable around Wonwoo that he would casually drape his arm over Wonwoo’s shoulder or slide his hand into Wonwoo’s to tug him along. It made him wonder if he had unknowingly influenced Wonwoo’s feelings, if Wonwoo got attached to him simply because Mingyu was _ there. _

“Can I ask you something?” Mingyu said.

“Hm?”

“Do you really like me? Are you sure you’re not just… I don’t know. Confused?”

“It’s been a couple of years since I’ve been confused about my feelings and sexuality. I like to think I know myself better now,” Wonwoo said with a wry smile. “Yes, Mingyu. I really do like you. But it’s not a big deal. I wasn’t expecting anything to come out of it.”

It was kind of a big deal, Mingyu thought. He was twenty-one now, and Wonwoo, a year older. Wonwoo had liked him since middle school; Mingyu couldn’t fathom committing to anything for that long. 

“Why did you tell me, then? If you weren’t expecting anything?”

“Yeah, I’m starting to regret it myself,” Wonwoo said. “Like I said, I just wanted you to know. I’ll get over it eventually. Now can we talk about something else, please?”

*

Mingyu was only trying to help Wonwoo “get over it”.

It had taken a month, but things were finally starting to return to normal between them. Mingyu no longer tensed when Wonwoo brushed against him, and he even started to push Wonwoo around playfully again. 

Tonight, they were rewatching one of Wonwoo’s favourite movies, _ Miracle in Cell No. 7 _. They were curled up on opposite ends of the love seat, but their calves were tangled together and they had a bowl of popcorn and chocolates on the seat between them. Occasionally, when they reached for food, their fingers would brush together. 

During one of the slower parts of the movie, Mingyu said, “Hey, so I met this guy recently. His name is Lee Chan.”

Wonwoo made a noise to let Mingyu know he was listening.

“He’s pretty cool. He’s an animation major. A bit shy at first, but once you get to know him, he’s funny. Not as funny as yours truly, of course, but he’s up there. I’m not really into dudes, but even I think he’s kind of cute. Thin and shrimpy, but he’s got a lot of energy that would balance out your lack of energy.”

“Mingyu,” Wonwoo stopped him. “Why are you talking this guy up?”

“You should go on a date with him. I think you’d like him. And, uh, it might help you, you know…” Mingyu made a vague gesture with his hand. “Move on.”

“Ah. So that’s what this is about.” Wonwoo looked down at his lap with an unreadable expression on his face. Finally, after a long moment, he said, “Okay, sure.”

*

It was Saturday morning. Mingyu had been up for two hours, and already he was bored. He had just finished a round of midterms in his classes and had the entire weekend to breathe and scratch his ass without feeling like he was falling behind in his studies. 

Whenever they had a free weekend, he and Wonwoo would go out after having breakfast together. Sometimes they would watch a movie for a dollar at a second-run theatre, or they would meet up with their friends at the arcade to play DDR and racing games and shooters. Other times, they loitered in the mall like high school students.

But today, Wonwoo was on a date, and Mingyu didn’t feel like trawling the city by himself. He lay on his bed with his laptop on his chest, watching Overwatch livestreams. He had given up playing for the day after adding yet another loss to his eleven game losing streak. Usually, Overwatch could keep him occupied for hours, but today, he found his attention wandering every few seconds. 

He threw an arm out, reaching for his phone on the bedside table. He unlocked it and found it barren of messages. With a little ‘hmph’, he opened the chat with Wonwoo.

_ hey hows the date going? _

He tried not to be disappointed when Wonwoo didn’t respond immediately. An hour later: still no response. As attached to his phone as he was, even Mingyu didn’t ignore his date in favour of checking his messages, and Wonwoo was nothing if not a gentleman. But still.

He didn’t like it. 

For the rest of the morning, Mingyu flopped about in bed, occasionally getting up to drink some water and use the toilet. Then, he decided he was being pathetic and went outside for a quick run. After his sprints, he stopped by the park to work on his pull-ups and do some stretching.

When he returned, Wonwoo was already home.

“Hey!” he greeted. “How was the date?”

Wonwoo grunted. “Not great.”

“Aw,” said Mingyu. “That’s too bad. What happened? What did you guys do?”

“We went for coffee. It was awkward because I’m me. He ended up doing all the talking and I just sat there nodding like I was mute. Anyway, he had ordered a skinny soy latte. I guess he was lactose intolerant. A few minutes in, he started looking sort of pale, so he excused himself to use the washroom and never came out again. He texted me saying, ‘That was NOT soy’.”

Mingyu laughed. “What did you do?”

“I spoke to the manager and got two free drinks and cheesecake, and then I drank both of them and had the cheesecake, too, because Chan said his stomach wasn’t feeling up to it. He was in the washroom for an hour. I just waited around.”

“You could have texted me,” Mingyu said.

“I didn’t want to be caught on my phone. It’s rude,” Wonwoo said. “Anyway, things were even more awkward after that, so I made an excuse to leave, and that was it.”

“I’m sorry,” Mingyu said earnestly. “You deserve better, anyway.”

“What? You think I deserve someone who isn’t lactose intolerant?” Wonwoo was smiling a little.

“Yes,” Mingyu said, serious. “Anyway, better luck next time, right?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! I hope you enjoyed the first chapter of my new story. I apologise in advance for Mingyu’s behaviour throughout the fic. His brain no work too good. Also, note that Wonwoo will be dating others in this fic because he is trying to move on, BUT MINWON ENDGAME!
> 
> Feedback and kudos are appreciated ♡


	2. Chapter 2

"How do I look?"

Mingyu dragged his attention away from his game of Overwatch to look at Wonwoo.

Wonwoo stood in front of him with his arms outstretched, dressed in a hideous orange jumpsuit. Underneath, he wore a cream coloured turtleneck.

Mingyu burst out laughing.

"Bro—" he wheezed. "What the fuck are you wearing? You look like you just got out of prison."

Wonwoo dropped his arms to his side, cheeks going crimson. The line of his lips turned tight with embarrassment. "Okay. I thought I'd try something different, but I can see that it's not working."

Mingyu turned serious. Or as serious as he could with Wonwoo looking like he had walked off the set of _ Prison Break. _ He pressed his mouth together to contain his laughter. "Aw, Wonwoo. It's kind of a cute look. Honest. In a 'Just got out of prison!' kind of way. And for tax evasion, not for murder.

Wonwoo glared at him for a moment before his shoulders slumped. "Can you help me pick out another outfit?"

Mingyu nodded, shutting his laptop and following Wonwoo into his room. "What will you guys be doing?"

"We're just going for burgers."

"Something casual, then." Mingyu hummed as he rifled through Wonwoo's closet. Wonwoo's wardrobe consisted mostly of white, beige, and shades of black. There was the occasional blue. He truly went out on a limb with that orange jumpsuit.

Mingyu kept the cream coloured turtleneck, instead pairing it with dark jeans and throwing a denim jacket over top. It was simple but understated. It lent Wonwoo a boyish charm, and Mingyu liked it.

Mingyu gave Wonwoo a once-over and nodded, satisfied. "You look good. Are you going to do anything with your hair?"

Wonwoo touched his hair. "Should I?"

"You could gel it back a bit." Mingyu reached up to run his fingers through Wonwoo's hair, pushing his bangs back from his forehead. 

Wonwoo blinked up at him, slow and heavy. For a split second, Mingyu forgot how to form words, because Wonwoo looked stunning with his face bare and open and chin tipped up. Model stunning. Wonwoo had never paid much attention to his appearance, but wow—the number of heads he would turn if he styled his hair. 

"—gyu?"

"Uh," said Mingyu, snatching his hand away. He couldn't make eye contact. The skin under his collar felt hot. "What? I didn't catch that."

"Do you think I should style my hair?"

"Do you plan to get laid tonight?"

Wonwoo sputtered. "Excuse me?"

"I asked—"

"I know what you asked," Wonwoo cut him off. "No, I do not. And even if I did, I wouldn't tell you. Jesus, Mingyu. What does that have to do with anything, anyway?"

It was relevant because: Yes, Wonwoo should style his hair if he wanted to get laid tonight; no human would be able to resist. No, if he didn't feel like boning. Mingyu fumbled, "Nothing. You can if you want. Style your hair, I mean. But you don't have to. Maybe you shouldn't. You don't want to look like you're trying too hard, right?"

"I suppose not," said Wonwoo. "I don't think I will, then."

"Good."

Wonwoo gave him a strange look.

"What?" Mingyu asked, defensive.

Wonwoo shook his head. "Nothing."

*

Wonwoo came back home three hours later. Mingyu forced his attention on the notes for his fluid dynamics class he had spread out across the coffee table. Tried not to look like he had been staring at the door, anticipating Wonwoo's return.

Wonwoo went into his room to change into a t-shirt and a pair of sweats. Then he plopped down on the couch beside Mingyu.

"How'd it go?" Mingyu asked. 

"It wasn't a date."

"What?"

"I offered to pay for our meal, but Vernon was like, 'No need for that, my dude. It's not like this is a date.' And then, I was like, 'This isn't a date?', and Vernon was all, 'Oh, you mean it is?'" Wonwoo sighed, dropping his head back against the couch. "I thought it had been going well, too. He's really into music and writes his own raps. We even wrote some lyrics together. It felt like a date."

Mingyu laid a sympathetic hand on Wonwoo's knee. He didn't know what to make of the funny feeling in his stomach, couldn't tell if it was second-hand embarrassment or, as a tiny voice in his head whispered: _ relief _. He cleared his throat, awkward. "I think that's my bad. When I told him that he should meet you, I didn't specify that it was supposed to be a date."

“He’s not even gay.”

Mingyu winced. “I’m sorry. The next one will be better, I promise.”

*

Mingyu jolted awake in the middle of the night, yanked so rudely out of his sleep that he swung up to seated in bed. He was breathing hard and sweating, his shirt sticking to his back. His heart beat at double time in his throat. With a groan, he dropped his face into his hands. Glimpses of his dream flashed through his mind. 

Lips on his own. Skin sliding together. He remembered crawling over another’s body, settling over top like a blanket. He had dipped his head forward to press open-mouthed kisses into a pale column of a neck. His hand had crept between their heaving abdomens to stroke his partner’s _ decidedly male _ parts.

The images were starting to escape him, like smoke through fingers.

But he knew that someone in his dream wasn’t just anyone. He would recognise those sharp limbs and delicate hands and the angle of that jaw anywhere. 

That someone was Wonwoo.

He just had a goddamn wet dream about Wonwoo.

He had dreamed about Wonwoo moaning softly under him, cheeks flushed from pleasure and glistening with sweat.

Mingyu groaned again. He felt wet and sticky between the legs. Part of him hoped that he had peed himself, but he didn’t think that was the problem. He had grown out of that years and years ago. He flung aside his blankets and peeked into his boxers.

Yep.

There it was. 

A glance at his bedside clock told him that it was only half-past four. He was wide awake now and couldn’t imagine falling asleep again, not after a dream like that. With a sigh, he slithered out of bed, grabbed a clean pair of boxers from his underwear drawer, and ambled into the bathroom. 

He splashed cool water on his face and scrubbed at his cheeks. He curled his fingers around the edge of the sink and stared down his reflection.

It didn’t mean anything, he told himself. The dream was a product of the hours he had spent mulling over the shift in his relationship with Wonwoo. That was all. Except that didn’t explain why he still thought the Wonwoo from his dreams had looked devastatingly beautiful. He couldn’t get the image of Wonwoo looking wrecked beneath him out of his head. Wonwoo had looked up at him through half-lidded eyes, lips slightly parted. His hair was mussed, bangs pushed back from his forehead. 

Did that make him gay? No—the attraction he had for his past girlfriends were real. He still liked women. But he could appreciate a good-looking man, and the involuntary reaction he had towards dream-Wonwoo… Mingyu swore. 

When he was in his first year of university, he had taken a psychology elective. In one of the classes, he learned about a phenomenon called the reciprocity of attraction, which referred to the tendency for an individual to like people who seemed to like them. Simply learning of another’s affection could induce reciprocal interest. 

Wonwoo had put the idea in his head, and now he couldn’t goddamn stop thinking about it. 

*

On Wednesday evenings, Mingyu dropped by the university rec centre to play basketball. Most days, he was joined by Minghao and Seokmin, and the three of them would find another triad to play three-versus-three with. That was how he had met Seungcheol, the captain of the men’s basketball team.

According to Mingyu’s varsity friends, Seungcheol seemed to live in the rec centre, always there dribbling and shooting hoops. He even had keys to the building so that he could have access to the court after hours. Mingyu had played a few games with him before. Despite being on the shorter side for a basketball player, Seungcheol was a powerhouse, flying across the court with a fluidity that Mingyu couldn’t manage even without a ball at his fingertips. 

Seungcheol was attractive with his dimples and big doe eyes that were framed by ridiculously thick lashes. And he was openly gay. He was also interested in Wonwoo, judging by the way he would shoot glances at Wonwoo whenever he came by to watch Mingyu play.

As they were changing out of their sweaty clothes in the locker room, Mingyu said to Seungcheol, “I can introduce you to him, if you want.”

Seungcheol ducked his head, bashful, and said, “Okay.”

Wonwoo started joining them on Wednesday nights. Not just sitting on the bleachers and occasionally looking up from his novel, but playing. He wasn’t any good and couldn’t dribble the ball for more than a few seconds, but Seungcheol was all too happy to help, teaching him how to handle the ball and shoot. Wonwoo had never expressed much interest in basketball, but he started attending Seungcheol’s games, dragging Mingyu along with him. 

Grudgingly, Mingyu admitted that they looked good together. He thought that they could have been a good fit, right up until Seungcheol led the team to a victory against a rival school, and a man ran onto the court, leapt into Seungcheol’s arms, and kissed him. 

Ear-splitting shrieks erupted in the stadium. Fans cheered and stomped, the bleachers vibrating under hundreds of thundering feet. 

Mingyu’s jaw dropped. He stared, flabbergasted. Then he turned to Wonwoo and pointed at the scene—_ Are you seeing this shit? _

Wonwoo’s face was blank. 

Mingyu shouted into Wonwoo’s ear, “Who the fuck is that?”

Wonwoo’s lips moved, but Mingyu couldn’t make out the sound. 

Wonwoo slid his hand into Mingyu’s and tugged. Mingyu let himself be pulled along. The crowd surged against them, bumping and jostling. He tightened his hold on Wonwoo’s hand, felt how delicate those fingers were in his own. For a moment, he thought Wonwoo was going to wait in the locker room to give Seungcheol a piece of his mind, but then he realised that Wonwoo was leading him towards the exit.

Mingyu dug his heels into the ground. “Fuck no, we’re not leaving. Not until we’ve kicked his ass.”

“Let’s just go home, Mingyu.”

“No.”

“Please—” 

“Are you kidding me right now? He just kissed another guy in front of you, and you’re going to let it slide? You’re going to let him disrespect you like that?” Mingyu’s voice rose. The blood pounded in his head, beating against his skull from all sides. Fury and indignation roiled in his chest, swelling as violent and turbulent as a storm. He was so livid he was shaking, couldn’t even see straight.

Wonwoo looked uncomfortable, lips thinned. His eyes were downcast. “I’m not letting anything slide. I’ll talk to him about it later. He just won a game. I don’t want to ruin his night.”

“Fuck his night!” Mingyu snarled. “You might not want to ruin his night, but I do. I’m going to ruin that son of a bitch. Let’s go.”

Wonwoo tried to resist, but Mingyu had two inches and fifty pounds on him; Mingyu yanked, and Wonwoo had no choice but to be dragged along.

Locker room. Seungcheol would be in the locker room with his teammates, celebrating one of their biggest wins of the season. He would still be riding the high of beating the buzzer. He would be laughing and smiling and thumping his teammates’ backs, not giving a single damn about Wonwoo who had shared his rare and precious smiles with him, who had learned how to play a sport he didn’t even care about just so they could spend time together.

“Mingyu, stop. Look at me—” Wonwoo tried to peel Mingyu’s fingers off him, but Mingyu only held on tighter. He felt Wonwoo’s knuckles grinding against each other in his vice grip. Wonwoo punched his arm, but Mingyu barely noticed.

Wonwoo shouted, “Let go, you asshole! You’re hurting me!”

Mingyu did. He wheeled around until he came face-to-face with Wonwoo, who was rubbing his hand.

“How can you be okay with this? That asshole was stringing you along. You were his side-piece!” It wasn’t right, that he cared more about this than Wonwoo did. 

“I knew, alright?” Wonwoo burst out, loud enough to make Mingyu flinch. Wonwoo blew out a breath. “I already knew. He said he liked me, but I knew he hadn’t gotten over his ex yet. He talked about Jisoo all the time. I don’t think he even realised he was doing it. Whenever we went out, he’d drop everything if Jisoo called him and asked for help.”

Voice small, Mingyu asked, “You let him use you as a rebound?”

Wonwoo shrugged. “Wasn’t I using him, too?”

It took a moment for the words to sink in. Mingyu turned away. It felt like there was a fist-sized rock in the pit of his stomach.

* * *

He stopped setting Wonwoo up on dates.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who left comments and kudos on the previous chapter - I really appreciate it (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡ I'm sorry this chapter was short. The next ones will be longer! Please feel free to leave your thoughts and offer feedback. Constructive criticism is welcome, too.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woah!! Thank you so much for the overwhelming support for the last chapter. I'm blown away by everyone's feedback. Hopefully you all like this update, too!

Mingyu opened the refrigerator door and found the lunch he had packed for Wonwoo, forgotten. Mingyu grumbled. After all that effort he went through, making glazed short ribs with vegetables and assorted side dishes. He had even wrapped the lunch box with a cloth with kittens on it. Wonwoo always got like this around exam season, so focussed on his studies that he neglected to eat and take care of himself. During their last round of midterms, Wonwoo hadn’t even paused for dinner, only eating because Mingyu had sat beside him and forced ramyeon down his throat with a pair of chopsticks. 

Mingyu had already finished his classes for the day and was looking forward to spending the rest of the day working on problem sets and lazing around the apartment, but now he had a delivery to make. He changed into a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, and pulled a sweater over his head. Then, he grabbed Wonwoo’s lunch and headed out.

The law building was located on the southside of campus, a fifteen minute walk from their apartment. Mingyu tugged the sleeves of his sweater over his hands and shivered. Spring was starting to creep in, but the winter chill lingered, as did the grey skies. 

Mingyu waited by the door to Wonwoo’s classroom, entering when the first students began to filter out.

Wonwoo was in the back corner of the room, packing up his belongings. With him were Nayeon and Seokmin. 

Seokmin noticed him first. He perked up, swinging his arms in wide arcs in his best impression of a windmill. “Hey! Mingyu!”

Mingyu waved and trotted up the stairs. “Hey, Seokmin, Nayeon.”

“What are you doing here?” asked Nayeon. Her lips curled up into an impish smile. “Came to see Wonwoo?”

Mingyu put his hand on the small of Wonwoo’s back. “You forgot your lunch at home. I came to drop it off.”

“Oh, you didn’t have to do that. I would have bought a lunch,” Wonwoo said.

Mingyu snorted, disbelieving. “Yeah, right. You’d just skip lunch. I can’t believe I have to remind you to eat your meals. How do you forget about something like that? I shouldn’t have to look after you. You’re older than me. If anything, you should be looking after _ me _,” he nagged. “What would you do without me?”

“Starve,” Wonwoo said wryly. “Eat twigs and dirt, probably. Thanks for bringing me lunch.”

Mingyu made a small ‘hmph’ sound, satisfied by the response.

“Ah, Wonwoo, you’re so lucky. I wish I had a boyfriend who would bring me home-cooked meals, too,” Nayeon said. 

“Huh?” said Mingyu, at the same time Wonwoo said, “We’re not boyfriends.” 

“Really?” Nayeon looked at the hand Mingyu had on Wonwoo’s low back.

Mingyu dropped his arm and jammed his hands into his pockets. He cleared his throat. “Uh, well. I just came to give Wonwoo his lunch, so I guess I’ll be heading back now. See you guys later.” He gave them a small wave and then half-walked, half-ran away.

Boyfriends? 

Boyfriends, boyfriends, boyfriends.

*

17 Carat Cafe was one of the busiest coffee shops on campus, not just because they were located in an area that received plenty of foot traffic, or because they made amazing brews from imported beans—which they did. But Mingyu thought it was mostly because their staff consisted of some of the most attractive people Mingyu had ever seen, both online and in-person. It must be a job requirement: Be a 10/10. 

Their friend, Minghao, worked there part time, which meant they were given employee discounts when Minghao was behind the counter. Occasionally, he would slip them a brownie with a wink. 

The best time to go was Sunday after lunch, when it was possible to secure a table to work at, and the cafe was quiet enough that they could hear each other when talking across the table. Today, he and Wonwoo were joined by Jeonghan and Minghao, who had a day off. 

About a month ago, the cafe hired a new barista. Junhui, his name tag read. He was sloe-eyed and had a faint Chinese accent that made girls giggle and swoon. While he greeted every customer with a polite smile, it was obvious that he had a customer service persona and a _ Jun _ persona that emerged when Wonwoo stepped up to the counter. His smile grew wider, revealing the top row of straight, pearly whites.

“You again,” Junhui said, eyes on Wonwoo, even though they had all stepped up together as a group.

“Me again,” Wonwoo agreed.

“What can I get for you?”

Wonwoo rattled off their order: iced coffee with half the sugar for Jeonghan, a caramel macchiato for Minghao, a cold brew for Mingyu, and then passion fruit lemonade for himself.

“Take a seat,” Junhui said. “I’ll call you up when your drinks are ready.”

They settled at a table tucked in the back corner, unloading their backpacks and taking out their study materials.

“Wonwoo, have I ever told you that Junhui has the biggest crush on you?” Minghao asked.

Mingyu answered for him, “Yes, Minghao, you have. Multiple times. We know.”

Minghao continued, unperturbed by Mingyu’s testy tone. “You probably made Junhui’s day by showing up. He’s always asking about you while I’m trying to work. ‘Where’s that friend of yours, Haohao? I haven’t seen him in a while’. ‘I wonder how Wonwoo is doing. He looks stressed lately’. Please, Wonwoo, just talk to him. Throw the guy a bone.”

Wonwoo laughed a little and covered his face with a hand, embarrassed. “Talk to him and say what?”

“I don’t know. Anything. Ask him how his day has been. He’ll be happy with anything,” Minghao said.

“I don’t want to distract him from his work.”

“He’s already distracted,” Jeonghan said, referring to the way Junhui kept glancing over to their corner.

“Come on,” Minghao pestered. “Is he not your type? Not handsome enough for you?”

“That’s not it. He’s very good-looking.”

“Wonwoo,” Junhui called.

“Go, go, go,” Minghao urged, nudging at Wonwoo’s shoulder.

Wonwoo whacked Minghao’s hand away. “_ You _ go. He’s _ your _ friend.”

“Trust me, he’d much rather it was you than me. He sees me more often than he cares to.”

“Knock it off, guys. Don’t make him do something he doesn’t want to,” said Mingyu. He wasn’t sure where those words came from. Hadn’t he been trying to find Wonwoo a man? Junhui was polite and easy on the eyes, and he seemed genuinely interested in Wonwoo. But there was something about Junhui that didn’t sit right with him, and he didn’t want Wonwoo to get hurt again.

Jeonghan side-eyed him, a brow arched in that shrewd way of his. 

Mingyu amended, “Wouldn’t hurt to say hi, though.”

Wonwoo sighed. “Alright. Fine.” 

Minghao whooped. 

Wonwoo ran a hand through his hair and smoothed out his shirt. With a determined expression on his face, he marched over to the counter. 

Since all three of them had no shame, they turned in their seats to watch the interaction take place. They were seated too far away to hear what Wonwoo and Junhui were saying, but judging by the way Junhui was leaning forward, it didn’t seem like it was going badly.

It might even be going well.

Jeonghan whistled. “Wow. So that’s what Wonwoo looks like when he’s flirting.”

Wonwoo had his chin propped up on his fist and face tipped up as he spoke to Junhui. Wonwoo had the kind of smile on his face that meant he was really turning up the charm. It was lopsided and allowed a sliver of his teeth to peek through. Mingyu remembered that smile from childhood, and all the times it had gotten them out of trouble.

The difference was that now Wonwoo was older. His features were sharper, cooler. His cheeks had lost their baby fat. The smile didn’t look youthful and innocent anymore. It looked seductive. It was fucking weird seeing it on Wonwoo’s face. It made Mingyu’s belly squirm.

Grunting, he turned away. His throat felt dry. He wished Wonwoo would hurry up with the drinks.

Jeonghan shot him a sly look. “You okay with your boy making the moves on someone else?”

“What?” said Mingyu. It took him a second to realise that Jeonghan had meant Wonwoo when he said _ your boy. _“Yes. Of course I am. Why wouldn’t I be? He’s not my boy.”

Jeonghan shrugged, which made Mingyu nervous. Jeonghan always knew more than he let on. Not that there was anything to know. 

Wonwoo returned to their table ten minutes later when customers started to trickle in. There was a phone number scrawled in black sharpie on his coffee cup sleeve. Minghao ribbed him relentlessly about it, making Wonwoo turn pink.

Mingyu slipped in his earbuds, put his head down, and began to review his problem sets. He didn’t say anything when Junhui stopped by their table to slide a fruit galette in front of Wonwoo. He turned down Wonwoo’s offer to share, even though he was always hungry and loved sweets. 

Eventually, Minghao got bored of teasing Wonwoo and started on his own assignments. They worked in silence for the next three hours, and Mingyu was pleased by the amount of material he had gotten through. 

He was less pleased when he noticed Wonwoo slipping the coffee cup sleeve into his jacket pocket before throwing away his trash.

*

Mingyu leaned against the door frame to Wonwoo’s bedroom, watching Wonwoo fuss over his hair in the mirror. Wonwoo was dressed in a black button-down and dark washed jeans, a leather belt cinching in his narrow waist. He gave no indication of noticing Mingyu’s presence.

“Wow,” said Mingyu, when he was bored of being ignored. “Who are you trying to impress with that outfit?”

Wonwoo startled, snatching his hands away. His cheeks bloomed pink. He mumbled something that Mingyu didn’t quite catch.

"What?" asked Mingyu.

“I have a date tonight,” said Wonwoo.

“What?” He didn’t remember setting Wonwoo up with anyone. In fact, he had sort of abandoned that idea altogether after the incident with Seungcheol. It was more fun when it was the two of them, anyway. Otherwise, he would be left to grump around the house alone while Wonwoo was out. “I didn’t know you had a date tonight. Why didn’t you tell me?”

Wonwoo shrugged. “Didn’t want to jinx it. And I’m telling you now, aren’t I?”

“What?” Mingyu said again. “Do you… Do you think I’m sabotaging your dates or something?”

Wonwoo flushed. “No, of course not. That would be ridiculous. I didn’t want to get anyone’s hopes up, so I kept it to myself.” Then he smiled. “And you have to admit, Mingyu, you don’t exactly have the best track record as a wingman.”

Now it was Mingyu’s turn to be embarrassed. He scratched his nose. “Do I know this guy?”

“It’s Junhui.”

“Really? Junhui? He’s a little smarmy, don’t you think?”

“Mingyu,” Wonwoo chided. He turned back to the mirror and fiddled with his collar. “It’s part of his job. He’s actually really cool. We’ve been texting.”

“You’ve been texting?” He couldn’t stop with the questions. Every bit of information Wonwoo shared with him was new. He felt like the class idiot all over again, days worth of material behind everyone else. 

“Yeah.” Wonwoo glanced at his wristwatch, the heavy stainless steel one with a black dial that Mingyu had given him on his eighteenth birthday. Mingyu had busted his ass working for that, and now Wonwoo was wearing it on a date with some other man. That was a little insensitive, wasn’t it?

“Okay,” said Wonwoo. “I better get going. I’ll see you later, okay? Try not to get into too much trouble while I’m gone.”

Mingyu watched Wonwoo go.

_ Oh no, _ he thought. 

Wonwoo had gelled his hair back.

*

Mingyu had planned to spend the evening making study guides, but he couldn’t concentrate. Instead, he sat cross-legged on the couch, chewing at his thumb. It was a habit he thought he had outgrown as a child, but in times of undue stress, he still found himself nibbling at his fingertip, seeking comfort.

It was 10 PM and Wonwoo still wasn’t home. He had left on his date over six hours ago. He hadn’t replied to any of Mingyu’s texts. Hadn’t even opened them. Wonwoo seldom stayed out this late, already an old man at heart who liked to be in bed by half-past nine. His dates had never run this long, either, two or three hours at most. 

What the hell could Junhui and Wonwoo possibly be doing that took up this much time? Mingyu thought they were just going for dinner.

They weren’t… They weren’t having _ sex, _were they? Wonwoo never struck him as a guy that put out on the first date. Then again, he hadn’t seen much of Wonwoo dating at all. Still, Wonwoo had left earlier looking overwhelmingly handsome, and Junhui seemed like an impulsive kind of guy, and maybe Wonwoo would just go with the flow… 

Mingyu’s heart did a funny little tremble in his chest. He shook his head to clear his thoughts, then checked his phone for the tenth time in half as many minutes. Still no sign of life from Wonwoo. Tamping down his pride, he sent Wonwoo yet another text. 

_ hey can u text me back? _ _  
_ _ just wanna know that ur safe and not lying dead in a ditch somewhere _

He stared at his phone screen as though he could will Wonwoo to message him back faster.

“Ugh.” Mingyu flopped onto his back on the sofa and kicked his legs into the air. This was stupid. Wonwoo was stupid. _ He _ was stupid, sulking around the apartment all day and waiting for Wonwoo to give him attention. 

The sound of voices filtered through the thin walls of their apartment. Mingyu perked up when he recognised Wonwoo’s voice. He rolled off the couch and scrambled to the door, distantly aware that he was acting like a big, dumb puppy excited that his owner was home. As he drew closer, he picked up on a second, unfamiliar voice. He peered through the peephole. It was Junhui. Mingyu’s hand rested on the lock, hesitating.

It was creepy, he knew, to be spying on someone during these moments. But he wanted to see for himself how Junhui treated Wonwoo, and how Wonwoo responded. Besides, Wonwoo would recount the details of his date to Mingyu, anyway.

Mingyu pressed his eye to the peephole and strained his ears to catch the conversation on the other side of the door.

“Well, this is me,” Wonwoo said. “I’d invite you in for some coffee, but my roommate is around because he wasn’t expecting anyone. It’d probably be awkward.”

_ What! _ Mingyu thought. They had spent six goddamned hours together and Wonwoo was considering spending even more? Wonwoo didn’t even drink coffee. This was ridiculous. To make matters worse, he had been demoted from the position of Wonwoo’s best friend. He was just a roommate now. 

“No worries. I get enough free coffee at work,” Junhui said. “So, I guess I’ll leave you here?”

“Yeah.”

Neither of them moved. Instead, they took turns giving each other shy glances and breaking out into goofy grins when their eyes met.

Mingyu gagged.

Junhui slid his hands into his pants pockets. He rocked back and forth from heel to toe. “I had a lot of fun today.”

“Me too.”

“And I’d really like to take you out on another date,” Junhui said. “Maybe we can go check out that new Thai place you’ve been wanting to try?”

Oh, hell no. Trying out new restaurants was _ their _ thing. Wonwoo knew how much he liked Thai food. The restaurant had been Mingyu’s suggestion, and they had already agreed to give the place a visit the coming weekend. Wonwoo wouldn’t desecrate their weekly rituals for some guy he had just met.

Wonwoo bit down on his lower lip and smiled a small, sweet thing that looked like it was about to burst with shy pleasure. The corners of his eyes crinkled and his nose scrunched up. It was an expression Mingyu had never, ever seen on Wonwoo’s face before. He hadn’t even known that Wonwoo was capable of making a face like that.

_ Don’t say yes. Don’t say yes, don’t say yes, don’tsayyes. _

“Okay,” said Wonwoo. “I’d like that.”

What? Did Wonwoo seriously agree to that? Did he really just agree to go on a date with some guy to a restaurant that _ Mingyu _ had told him about? That Mingyu specifically said _ he _ wanted to go to?

An ugly feeling churned low in Mingyu’s gut and crawled up his throat. He felt like throwing up.

“Great! I’ll text you?” Junhui said.

Wonwoo nodded.

A few seconds of quiet passed.

“So, I guess this is goodnight, then?” Wonwoo said.

“Yeah, ah. I—ah. God.” Junhui laughed, scratching the back of his neck. “I don’t want to go yet.

Wonwoo giggled. He honest-to-god giggled. He was a hair’s breadth taller than Junhui, but he made himself look smaller, ducking his head to peer up shyly at Junhui from beneath his lashes. The harsh fluorescent lights flickering in the corridor could make even Korea’s top model look unflattering, but Wonwoo looked captivating despite the splotchy blush splashed across his cheekbones.

“Can I kiss you?” Junhui blurted out. “Just on the cheek.”

Wonwoo huffed out a small laugh. “Okay.” He turned his face, offering his cheek.

Junhui leaned in, pressing a chaste kiss dangerously close to Wonwoo’s mouth.

Mingyu’s jaw went slack as he processed the sight before him.

Junhui couldn’t do that! He couldn’t do that because it was only their first date. That was moving too fast. He couldn’t do that because… because Wonwoo was Mingyu’s… 

Friend. 

Mingyu’s stomach did a slow roll. “Oh, fuck,” he breathed.

This wasn’t about the restaurant, was it? He didn’t feel betrayed because Wonwoo agreed to eat at some shady Thai place with another guy. The jealousy he felt wasn’t because he was worried someone else was going to snatch his best friend away, or because he wouldn’t have anything to do while Wonwoo was out on a date.

He felt betrayed because Wonwoo was going to have a meal with someone that wasn’t _ him _. He was jealous because whereas he used to command the entirety of Wonwoo’s attention, now he would have to share it with someone else. The issue wasn’t being bored—the issue was that Wonwoo wouldn’t be at his side, being bored with him. The weight in the pit of his stomach was identical to the weight he felt when the first girl he truly crushed on started dating someone else.

Oh, sweet Jesus. 

“Alright, you better go inside otherwise we’ll be here all night,” Junhui said.

Wonwoo laughed again. “Goodnight, then. I’ll text you.” He reached into his pocket for his keys.

Mingyu ran. He vaulted over the back of the sofa and hurriedly settled himself amongst the cushions. He grabbed his notebook from the coffee table and flipped to a random page. He stared. Tried to look as nonchalant as possible. As though he hadn’t spent the last fifteen minutes spying on Wonwoo and his date. As though his heart wasn’t pounding somewhere up in his skull.

As though he hadn’t just realised he _ liked _ Wonwoo.

The door swung open and Wonwoo bumbled inside. His clothes rustled as he shucked off his jacket and toed off his shoes. “Hey, I’m back,” he called.

Mingyu sat up, peering over the couch. He was shaking, he realised. He dug his nails into a cushion. “Hi. How’d it go?” Despite his earth-shattering realisation, his voice came out surprisingly steady.

“Good. It was really good,” Wonwoo said, smiling, and all Mingyu could think about was how it had been another man who put that smile on Wonwoo’s face.

*

Jeonghan took a sip of his iced coffee, eyeing each of them in turn from across the table. Finally, he said, “Okay, what the hell is going on? Mingyu, you looked like you’re about to throw yourself off a cliff. Wonwoo, you won’t stop looking at the door every two seconds.”

“I’m fine. This is just my face,” Mingyu grunted. Then, he added, “Wonwoo is waiting for his boyfriend.”

“Huh,” Jeonghan said. “I’m both very surprised by that, but also not at all. Congratulations. Is it Junhui?”

“Yes, it is. But he’s not my boyfriend,” Wonwoo corrected. “We’re just dating casually to see if we could be a good fit together.”

“That’s good,” Jeonghan said. “How has it been going so far?”

Mingyu jabbed at his gyeran-jjim, his fork ripping into the delicate steamed eggs.

“We’ve only been on two dates, but it’s been great so far. Junhui’s great. He makes me laugh a lot, and we like a lot of the same books. We’re going to a book signing for one of our favourite authors this weekend.”

The bell on top of the door jingled. Wonwoo turned around, entire face brightening when Junhui stepped inside. “Be right back, I’m gonna go talk to Junhui real quick before his shift starts.” He trotted off without waiting for a response.

Jeonghan waited until Wonwoo was out of earshot before speaking. “So. This is an interesting development. Wonwoo is dating someone, and you don’t seem happy about it.”

“It’s fine,” said Mingyu.

Jeonghan looked dubiously at the mess of eggs in front of Mingyu, the once round medallion now scrambled.

Mingyu sighed. He shoved a forkful of eggs into his mouth and chewed moodily. He swallowed before speaking. “It’s not a big deal. I’m kind of lonely, I guess. We used to spend so much time together, but now it feels like he’s always with Junhui, and if he’s not with Junhui, he’s texting him.”

Part of it was his fault. Whenever Wonwoo suggested doing something, Mingyu would say snootily, “Aren’t you going to go see your boyfriend at the cafe?” He was being a bitter and petty child, and he knew it. At some point, Wonwoo had stopped asking. Mingyu understood. He wouldn’t want to hang out with himself, either. 

“I see,” said Jeonghan.

“Wonwoo used to like me.”

“You found out?”

“He told me.”

“Woah! He confessed to you? I thought he was going to take it to the grave.”

“You knew he liked me?” asked Mingyu.

“Yes, I knew._ Everyone _ knew Wonwoo carried a torch for you.”

“Well, I didn’t,” Mingyu said. “I didn’t think he was obvious.”

“Well, you can be a little oblivious at times. I mean, he followed you everywhere and always did everything you wanted, even though he’s the older one out of you two. He’s not all that physically affectionate, but some part of him always seemed to be touching some part of you. And he would sulk whenever you were dating someone. Just like you are right now.”

Mingyu groaned, burying his face in his hands. “When he confessed to me, I told him I didn’t like him like that.” He skipped the part where he had laughed at Wonwoo’s confession. “Now he’s dating someone else, and I think I’m starting to like him back, but I’m not sure, so I didn’t want to say anything, and now it feels like I’ve missed my chance, anyway. So, yeah. Ugh. That hurt to say out loud.”

Jeonghan gave him a sympathetic pat on the arm.

*

Classes were out for the summer. Instead of returning home, both Mingyu and Wonwoo decided to renew the lease on their apartment because it was closer to campus. Wonwoo had no choice, as his courses ran through the summer, while Mingyu had landed a temporary internship at an engineering and construction management company. In between Mingyu’s work and Wonwoo’s classes and Junhui—whom Wonwoo insisted was still not his boyfriend—they hadn’t been spending much time together. 

Jeonghan started coming over more often. While he didn’t say it, Mingyu knew it was because Jeonghan worried about him and didn’t want him moping around on his own. Mingyu could have kissed him for it, but he doubted Jeonghan wanted his germs anywhere near his face. 

“I need a plan,” Mingyu declared, in the middle of their Marvel movie marathon, “to get Wonwoo back.”

Jeonghan hit pause on the TV and turned to him. “Do you mean get Wonwoo, the best friend, back? Or do you mean you intend to date Wonwoo yourself?”

“I want to date him,” Mingyu said. He had come to terms with his attraction towards Wonwoo, but this was the first time he had voiced his desire. A giddy sensation bubbled in his chest at the declaration. “I should just tell him I like him, right?”

Jeonghan grimaced. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea. He’s in a relationship now. Do you really want to get in the way of that?”

“Wonwoo keeps saying that they’re not boyfriends yet, though. If he really liked Junhui, they would be official by now,” Mingyu pointed out. 

“It’s been less than a month. Maybe they want to take it slow,” Jeonghan said. 

“What are you really trying to say?”

“I think you should respect their relationship, and respect Wonwoo. If you tell Wonwoo you like him now, Wonwoo is going to think you expect something from him. Which you do, of course: you want him to end his relationship with Junhui and date you instead. But you also have to recognise that he might not choose you. If that turns out to be the case, it’s going to put a strain on your relationship with Wonwoo, and Wonwoo’s relationship with Junhui. If Wonwoo still likes you after all, then you’ve put him in an awkward position. And to be honest, neither of those outcomes are fair to him. If Wonwoo decides that things aren’t going to work out between him and Junhui, then I think you can make a move; wait for him to show interest in you again. Otherwise, I think you should leave them alone.” 

“I thought you would be on my side,” Mingyu said, not quite able to hide that he was a bit stung by the lack of support. 

“Look, Mingyu, I love you, but I just can’t see this going well.”

Mingyu mulled over Jeonghan’s words. Then, he said, “You’re right.”

Jeonghan smiled.

“Wonwoo should come to me instead,” Mingyu said. “I’m going to seduce him.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A new challenger approaches! What will Mingyu do about Junhui? What is Mingyu's plan to win Wonwoo over? Tune in next week to find out!  
Please leave some love and share your thoughts ❤


	4. Chapter 4

Wonwoo’s birthday fell on a Tuesday this year. While their friends would have been happy to meet up, Wonwoo decided to leave the celebrations for the weekend and instead have a quiet night indoors, just him and Mingyu. 

It was the perfect opportunity to put his seduction plan into action. Even though they were just going to be bumming around the house, he applied concealer under his eyes and then BB cream. He lined his eyes with black and dabbed pink on his lips. He rubbed styling clay between his palms and ran his hands through his hair for a textured, tousled look. 

Humming, Mingyu rifled through his closet. He passed over his dress shirts; no one wore that to lounge at home in front of the TV. He had to be subtle, but he had to try harder than a plain t-shirt since Wonwoo saw him in those nearly every day. Eventually, he settled for a soft heather grey sweater and tight black jeans with tears that would hint at his muscled thighs.

He winked at his reflection. He looked good and he knew it. Wonwoo must think so too, judging by the way he gave Mingyu a quick once-over when he returned from class and Mingyu greeted him at the door.

“Hot date tonight?” Wonwoo asked.

“Yeah,” Mingyu said. “With you.”

Wonwoo snorted, which was not quite the reaction Mingyu had been hoping for, but the night was still young. “Wow, I’m flattered. You even dressed up for me.”

“I also got you raspberry cheesecake from that place you like and have movies queued up and ready to go.” He had bussed for three hours with a cooler in hand to get it, which was more than he would have done for anyone else.

Wonwoo gave him a small but genuine smile. “Okay, let me go change and we can get started.”

Mingyu took up as much room as possible on the couch, thighs spread, arms resting along the back. Wonwoo, wearing a ratty t-shirt and a pair of sweats, joined him on the loveseat a few minutes later. 

For the next two hours of _ Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse _, nothing happened. Wonwoo didn’t lean against him, even though Mingyu’s arms were prime real estate. Neither did he talk, unless it was to comment on the movie. It drove Mingyu insane.

Wonwoo seemed content to enjoy the movie in silence. He was eating the cheesecake Mingyu had bought him, taking tiny bites to savour it. He was swaying a little from side to side, happy, the way he always did when he was eating something he loved. Occasionally, his tongue flickered out to lick his fork clean, and the noises he made as he did so were downright sinful. He probably wasn’t even aware he was making them. 

Mingyu was half-hard in his pants, had sort of been turned on the entire time he had been sitting beside Wonwoo. It was because of the anticipation, and because of all the possibilities that the night could have in store for them.

“Do you want to watch something else?” asked Wonwoo.

“Hm? No, this is fine. Why? You don’t like it?” Mingyu couldn’t care less. He hadn’t even realised that they were watching something else now, didn’t even remember the title of the movie, even though he had picked it out a few hours ago. 

Wonwoo shifted. “No, I like it. It’s just that you’ve been… Not watching.” _ You’ve been watching me instead, _ the words implied. “I thought maybe you weren’t interested.”

“No, I’m interested,” Mingyu said, maintaining direct eye contact with Wonwoo.

“Huh—what?” Wonwoo grew flustered and stuffed the rest of his cheesecake into his mouth even though he had been taking such careful bites before. There was a bit of cream smeared at the corner of his lips.

Mingyu wanted to scream his gratitude to Jesus and Buddha and Allah and every other god in existence. This was the exact moment he had been waiting for. His heart pounded so hard and fast in his chest that his FitBit probably thought he was doing intense cardio.

“Hey, you’ve got a bit of—” Mingyu reached out. Curled a finger beneath Wonwoo’s chin and swiped a thumb over his lips.

Wonwoo stared at him with round, startled eyes. 

Mingyu brought his thumb to his mouth and licked away the cream. Wonwoo’s reaction was immediate: his pupils blew wide and his Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed with an audible click.

Mingyu set his hand on Wonwoo’s shoulder. Wonwoo turned his head to gape at it, as though afraid.

Mingyu almost laughed. Jeez. That was cute. Wonwoo was cute. Why did it take him so long to figure that out?

Carefully, as though he might startle a colt, Mingyu smoothed his hand up to cup the back of Wonwoo’s neck. He stroked the soft skin there.

“Mingyu?” Wonwoo asked. His voice was shaking.

Mingyu dropped his gaze to Wonwoo’s lips. Slowly, he leaned forward, telegraphing his intentions.

Mingyu kissed him. For a terrifying second, Wonwoo was as unresponsive as a statue. And then he kissed Mingyu back, pressing his lips so gentle and tentative against Mingyu’s that it made Mingyu’s heart hurt.

Wonwoo raised a hand to settle his fingertips on Mingyu’s jaw. He made the softest, sweetest noise, and suddenly, Mingyu was hungry for it. He angled his head, pushing forward to deepen their kiss. His other hand went to grip Wonwoo’s waist. He tugged, hauling Wonwoo onto his lap.

It was like being caught in a fever-dream. His blood burned with heat. Every touch sent sparks leaping across his skin. Wonwoo had his knees on either side of Mingyu’s thighs and his arms around Mingyu’s neck, and they were kissing: hot and wet and perfect. Mingyu’s erection strained against the front of his pants. His brain whited out when Wonwoo shifted, letting their pelvises come together. Wonwoo was hard, too.

It was when Mingyu slipped his hand underneath Wonwoo’s shirt and lifted that Wonwoo broke away from him with the gasping inhale of a man who had broken through the surface of water.

“Mingyu—wait,” Wonwoo said, breathless. “Wait, wait, wait.” The colour bloomed high in his cheeks and his eyes were glazed. It was a good look on him, and made even better by the fact that Mingyu put it there.

“What?” Mingyu was panting himself.

“What are you doing? What are we doing? What am _ I _ doing?” Wonwoo asked.

The question confused Mingyu. “We’re kissing. I’m kissing you. I’m gonna take your shirt off. I’m gonna get you out of your pants. And then I’m gonna make you feel so good. Gonna suck—” 

Wonwoo slapped a hand over Mingyu’s mouth to shut him up. If it were possible, Wonwoo turned an even more alarming shade of red. “But why are you doing this? I mean, I thought—I thought you didn’t… You know.” 

“Well, I do,” said Mingyu, grinning a little. “And it’s your birthday, so I thought I’d do something a little special for you.”

“What?”

“Happy birthday! I’m your present. You didn’t think I just got you cake, did you?”

“Birthday sex,” Wonwoo repeated flatly. “Your idea of a birthday present is sucking my cock.”

A shiver of arousal ran down Mingyu’s spine when Wonwoo said ‘cock’. Wonwoo’s voice already had a raspy, sensual tone to it. Hearing him say such a vulgar word was a goddamned honour bestowed upon Mingyu’s ears. _ Suck my cock, suck my cock, suck my cock— _ Yeah. Mingyu planned to, as soon as he convinced Wonwoo this was a good idea. 

“Yes? I mean, I’m a little short on cash right now, and that’s something you want, isn’t it? It’s a win-win situation,” said Mingyu.

“I can’t believe you.”

“Huh?”

The charming pink of Wonwoo’s cheeks turned into the splotchy red of anger. He pushed himself away from Mingyu, standing with his fists balled at his side. “I can’t fucking believe you.” His voice was tight with embarrassment and humiliation, and woah, that was going very differently from how Mingyu had imagined.

“You must think it’s hilarious to fuck with my feelings like this. You know, for a second, you made me think that, just maybe, you liked me too, because you always acted like a jealous brat whenever I was with Junhui, and then you pull something like this, but… But you were going to have sex with me, not because you want me, but because it’s my birthday? Because you think I’m pathetic enough to take any opportunity I have to sleep with you? You’re un-fucking-believable, Mingyu. I can’t. I just—can’t. You are the biggest asshole I have ever met.” Wonwoo’s voice cracked. 

_ Oh no _ , Mingyu thought, heart plummeting in his chest. Wonwoo was _ crying _.

Wonwoo wasn’t a crier. In all the years they had known each other, Mingyu recalled three instances where Wonwoo had cried in front of him. The first time was in grade two, when Wonwoo had tripped while running; his lower lip had wibbled from the pain, but it wasn’t until he caught sight of the shredded mess of skin and blood his knees had become did he burst into frightened tears. When he was eleven, Wonwoo leaped from a swing and landed on his arm, breaking it in two places. He had turned sheet-white and then began to cry, likely because Mingyu had started crying first. And then when he was fifteen, when the Jeon family wasn’t sure they would be able to find a compatible bone marrow donor for his mother, who had leukemia.

“Wonwoo…” Mingyu stood and reached out to touch, to comfort.

Wonwoo knocked his hand aside. “Don’t. Touch. Me.”

It all happened so fast Mingyu didn’t have the time to react. He could only watch, stunned, as Wonwoo stormed out of their apartment, slamming the door shut behind him.

*

_ jeonghan _   
_ i think i fucked up _   
_ wonwoo is really mad at me _   
_ he left crying like 6 hours ago and now its 1 am and he still isnt home yet and he has an 8 am class tomorrow _   
_ he left his phone and wallet here and everything _   
_ im worried _ _   
_its way past his bedtime and hes always back by bedtime

Mingyu’s phone lit up with a request from Jeonghan to facetime.

“Speak,” Jeonghan said in lieu of a greeting.

Mingyu did. He started from the beginning with Wonwoo’s confession, and how Mingyu had reacted with laughter. He told Jeonghan about all the dates he set Wonwoo up on in an attempt to help him move on, and the messy feelings he had whenever Wonwoo was with another guy that wasn’t him. He ended with his seduction plan, and how it had all backfired horribly, even though it was supposed to be a good thing for both of them.

He watched Jeonghan’s grainy, impassive face on his screen as he spoke, feeling more and more like a terrible friend, and an even shittier human being.

Mingyu blew out a breath. Pushed his bangs back from his forehead. “Alright. Give it to me straight, Doc. Am I the asshole, or did Wonwoo just overreact? Is Wonwoo the asshole? Does everyone suck here? Are there no A-holes here? I need to know where I stand on Reddit’s Asshole Scale.”

Jeonghan levelled him with a stare. “Are you really this stupid, or do you have to work at it?” 

Weakly, he said, “I did tell Wonwoo I liked him before jumping him.”

“No, you implied it.” Jeonghan sighed. “I’m your friend, Mingyu, but I’m Wonwoo’s friend too. So, as Wonwoo’s friend, I’m going to say this: of course you are the asshole. Look, I know you’re dumb, so I’m going to lay it out for you nice and easy:

“First of all, you laughed at Wonwoo when he confessed to you. Major dick move right there. Second, you lined up all these dates for him to help him get over you, which is incredibly arrogant and presumptuous of you. You totally disregarded his feelings for you. Then, you proceed to shit on every single guy, which, let me remind you, _ you _ set him up with. Then, Wonwoo finds someone that he might actually be interested in, and you decide that you want to explore something with Wonwoo, after all. Only, you go about it in the worst possible way: you essentially tell him that the only reason you’re going to have sex with him is because it’s to make up for your lack of a birthday present. Honestly, what the fuck is the matter with you?

“You're acting like a spoiled brat whose favourite toy has been taken away. Wonwoo isn't your plaything. You can't expect him to always be available to entertain you. You can't toss him aside to mess around with other things, and then get angry when someone genuinely interested in him comes along."

By the time Jeonghan had finished talking, Mingyu had shriveled down to his ugly core. He wanted to die. Wanted the earth to split open beneath his feet and swallow him whole.

"Boy, you fucked up big time," Jeonghan concluded. "Best be ready to grovel."

Miserable, Mingyu asked, “How am I supposed to fix this?”

“You apologise. You tell him you’re sorry for everything you’ve done, and the way you’ve treated him. Tell him that you were selfish, and that it was wrong of you to disparage his feelings and relationship with Junhui. Do not—and I repeat, do not—bring your own feelings into this. It’s not about you.” 

“Okay,” Mingyu nodded, sniffing.

Jeonghan’s face softened. “It will be okay. Your friendship with Wonwoo is stronger than this.”

“I’m a terrible friend.”

“Yes, we have acknowledged that, and now we are going to fix it. Now, say three _ Hail Mary’s _and sin no more, my child.”

*

Mingyu had it all planned it, every word of apology he was going to say to Wonwoo. He couldn’t write worth a damn, and he had been spared from doing so for much of his engineering degree, but he sat down and wrote himself a script. He even practised saying it out loud to make sure that the tone of his voice conveyed the depth of his feelings.

Except Wonwoo didn’t return that night. Mingyu stayed up until 5 AM, until his eyes burned. At some point, without noticing, he had dozed off, until he was yanked out of sleep by his 7 AM alarm. He considered calling in sick from work, but he had only been working there for a week and wanted to make a good impression; the company had said they would consider hiring their interns after graduation. Disoriented, he got ready for work. 

He made a fool of himself at work, so tired and preoccupied with thoughts of Wonwoo that he made calculation errors than even a first year student wouldn’t make, and he kept having to ask his mentor to repeat himself.

“I just told you this two seconds ago,” his mentor had said. “Write it down so I don’t have to tell you again.”

When he returned in the evening, Wonwoo was still not home. Mingyu checked Wonwoo’s room and found that his phone, laptop, and backpack were gone. He must have dropped by to collect his things while he knew Mingyu was out, and that hurt more than Mingyu expected. 

He should have just called in sick. 

*

“What are you doing in my bed?”

Mingyu went from a restless sleep to wide awake within a heartbeat. He shot up to a seated position and nearly cried at the sight of Wonwoo, who was looking tired and irritated, but gloriously alive and beautiful. Wonwoo had been gone for a full two days. Mingyu, dejected and mopey, had invaded Wonwoo’s room in search of comfort and had fallen asleep there. 

“I’m an idiot,” Mingyu blurted out.

“That explains what you’re doing in my bed, I suppose,” Wonwoo said with a sigh. He turned away from Mingyu, dropping his bag onto his chair and unpacking his belongings.

“Where have you been?” Mingyu asked. Part of him didn’t want to know, scared that the answer would be Junhui’s place. 

“I was at Seokmin’s,” Wonwoo answered. “Look, if you don’t mind, I’m tired and I want to sleep. Can I have my room back?”

“Can we talk first?”

“I have nothing to say to you. And to be honest, I don’t even want to look at you right now.”

“Then don’t look at me. Just keep… Keep doing whatever it is you’re doing,” Mingyu said, referring to the way Wonwoo was aimlessly moving things around on his desk.

Wonwoo remained silent, and Mingyu took it as permission.

With Wonwoo before him, every word he had planned to say failed to materialise on his tongue. For a few seconds, he was helpless to do anything but open and close his mouth in false starts. Wonwoo’s patience was bound to run out soon. Taking a deep breath, Mingyu said as sincerely as possible, “I’m sorry. You know I’m not great with words. I’m not like you. But I need you to know that I cannot even begin to tell you how sorry I am. I’ve been a really shitty friend to you these past couple of months. What I did to you—coming on to you like that—was wrong. I don’t know what I was thinking. I wasn’t, probably.”

Mingyu huffed out a small, self-deprecating laughing before continuing, “I reacted poorly to your… your confession. I was just surprised because it had never occurred to me that you might think of me that way. I know it’s no excuse for the way I handled things, and I’m sorry for that. I shouldn’t have set you up on all those dates. I disregarded your feelings and made you do something you weren’t comfortable with.

Mingyu’s hands were shaking. He curled his fingers into a tight fist, digging his nails into his palms. He hadn’t planned on saying this next part, but he had to, no matter Jeonghan’s warning. He licked his lips. “But I realised something while you were out on your dates. I realised I hated it when you were out with another guy that wasn’t me. Not just because I was bored or because I had no one to talk to, but because I wanted to be with you all the time. I know I might be too late, but I want to say it anyway: I like you. I want to take you out to fancy restaurants and book signings for your favourite author. I want to make you laugh and hold your hand and kiss you. I don’t want it to be Chan or Vernon or Junhui, or whoever else. I want it to be you and me.”

Throughout it all, Wonwoo remained quiet, his back still turned. His shoulders formed a tense line. A long moment of silence passed. Anxiousness mounted in Mingyu’s chest. He had just spilled his entire heart out, and Wonwoo was giving him nothing. He deserved it; it was still preferable to being laughed at.

Mingyu rolled his lower lip between his teeth. “Can you please say something?”

“That’s not fair,” Wonwoo said. His voice sounded wet. He whirled around, eyes flashing. “That’s not fair! You can’t say that to me. Every date I went on with every stupid guy you set me up with—I wanted it to be you and me, too! But it wasn’t, and I was starting to accept that. And then I met Junhui, and he’s this amazing guy that I really think I could like, and he makes me stop thinking about you, even if just for an hour. Now you drop this on me? No. No, you are not allowed to do that.”

Wonwoo pawed at his eyes. He glared at Mingyu, eyes rimmed red and shimmering with tears. His mouth was a thin, tight streak across his face. God help him; all Mingyu wanted to do was wrap Wonwoo up in a hug, crush Wonwoo’s face into his chest, and pet and comfort him. He wanted to swaddle Wonwoo in soft blankets, gift him cheesecake from his favourite bakery, wanted to pile clumsy kittens on top of him just to see him smile. Wonwoo deserved it all, every gentle and good thing, after Mingyu had hurt him so much.

Wonwoo shut his eyes. “Please leave.”

Mingyu did, clocking into work with a scant minute to spare before his shift started.

*

**Me**   
_ i think i just made things worse by apologising _

**Jeonghan** **  
** _ What else did you do? _

**Me** **  
** _ i may or may not have told wonwoo i like him _

**Jeonghan** ****  
_ You dumb boy _ _   
_ _ I specifically told you NOT to do that _

**Me** ****  
_ well what else was i supposed to do?? let junhui have him? _ _   
_ _ HELL NO _

**Jeonghan** **  
** _ You are beyond help _

Mingyu groaned, throwing his phone off to the side. It landed with a thud somewhere between the bed and the wall. This was a mess. _ He _was a mess. Nothing had turned out the way he had hoped. As soon as he had returned home from work, Wonwoo had locked himself in his room and had not come out for the past three hours. Mingyu knew for a fact that Wonwoo hadn’t had dinner yet, because Wonwoo lacked any sort of culinary ability and there were no leftovers from previous days, Mingyu having stress eaten it all.

Later that night, he tried apologising again.

He rapped his knuckles on Wonwoo’s bedroom door. “Wonwoo? Are you asleep?”

No reply. It was only half-past eight, so he doubted that Wonwoo was asleep. Then again, it had been a trying day for both of them. 

With a sigh, Mingyu rested his forehead on Wonwoo’s door. “Hey, I wanted to say again that I’m sorry. I know I should have supported you and Junhui, the way you’ve always supported me. I’m sorry I couldn’t do that. I’m so selfish. I know you’re mad at me, and you have every right to be. But I hope that… I hope that we can talk soon. I really want to talk to you. I—yeah. Whenever you’re ready. Um. Remember to eat dinner. I made kimchi fried rice with bacon and chicken and eggs. I’m going to my room now, so you can come out and do whatever you need to without looking at me.” He waited for a moment, hoping for a response. “Okay, well. Goodnight. Sweet dreams.”

*

Mingyu didn’t attend Wonwoo’s birthday party, even though he loved Japanese barbeque and karaoke. His phone had exploded with messages from their mutual friends, asking him where he was, if he and Wonwoo had gotten into a fight. Mingyu made up some bullshit excuse about work. Wonwoo hadn’t invited him, anyway. Hadn’t spoken to him at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this chapter was worth the wait! Real life has been kicking my ass lately. If you enjoyed this, please let me know (°◡°♡)
> 
> Honestly, Mingyu is such a stupid butt in this fic that I started working on a canon ABO unestablished meanie fic where Mingyu is sweet on Wonwoo and takes really good care of him kekek  
Scream at me about omega Wonwoo and alpha Mingyu on my [tumblr](https://lillupon.tumblr.com/) or in the comments!


	5. Chapter 5

Wonwoo has loved Mingyu ever since they met back in grade two, when a boy with a canine snaggletooth grinned at him and took his hand and demanded he play tetherball. Saying no had never been an option. Wonwoo hadn’t liked school. He was an anxious child, koala-clinging to his mom, face red and on the verge of tears—though never crying—but ever since Mingyu invaded his life, he found himself not wanting to leave school once the dismissal bell rang. 

Mingyu was his best friend, and he was Mingyu’s. 

*

When Mingyu turns fourteen, he hits a growth spurt, shooting up three inches. Back in elementary school, Wonwoo had been taller than Mingyu. Now, Wonwoo has to look up when he speaks to Mingyu. At first, Wonwoo thinks the squirmy feeling in his belly when he looks at Mingyu is envy, but it isn’t quite that, either.

Because Mingyu changes in other ways, too. Ways that Wonwoo finds impossible to ignore.

Mingyu’s cheeks lose some of their baby fat and his jaw sharpens, alluding to the man that he will one day become. They are at that age now, when boys become obsessed with tits and how soft and sweet-smelling girls are, and girls decide that boys aren’t so bad, after all. Now, when Mingyu passes female classmates in the school corridors, they giggle and squeal into their hands. Mingyu smiles back. Sometimes, his smile lingers on a particular girl, and Wonwoo finds himself hating her. 

In their groups, talk turns from sports and video games to sports and who kissed whom. Wonwoo listens as the older boys brag about getting their hands underneath a girl’s shirt. How soft and full their tits are in the cup of their hands. He can’t understand their fixation, has none of their desire. 

His desires are different. 

The innocent love he holds for Mingyu turns into something more. He doesn’t know when or how it happened, only that between one day and the next, the fondness and admiration he has for his best friend turns into want and longing. Most mornings, he wakes up with his briefs wet and sticky. Heart racing from the phantom sensations of his dreams. Mingyu’s name dancing on the tip of his tongue. Those days, he can’t bring himself to look Mingyu in the eye. 

Wonwoo thinks he will grow out of it, that he will eventually turn his attention to someone else. But no one comes close to capturing him the way Mingyu did. 

*

All throughout high school, Wonwoo is firmly closeted. He already gets enough flak for being the pale, skinny kid with too-big glasses and negative athletic ability. He gets called  _ Barnie _ , which is short for barnacle, and it is the stupidest nickname in existence. The nickname was coined because Wonwoo can always be found attached to Mingyu’s side, tagging along to gatherings that Mingyu is invited to, but Wonwoo himself is not. So Wonwoo is already a loser. There is no need to add being gay into the mix.

When Wonwoo is sixteen, he realises he isn’t as subtle about his feelings as he thinks he is.

“Jihyo said something interesting to me earlier,” Mingyu says. “About you.”

They are walking home from school. It is just the two of them now, having parted with two of Mingyu’s friends one street back. 

Jihyo is in Mingyu’s year. Gorgeous, and with a talent for singing that could make angels weep. She is one of Mingyu’s closer friends, and that by virtue makes Wonwoo dislike her. “What did she say?” 

“She said you liked me. Not in a brotherly way, but… You know. Like  _ that _ . Something about the way you look at me.”

Wonwoo’s heart seizes in his chest before restarting hummingbird-fast. He looks down at his feet, watches his strides eat up the distance between school and home. Even then, he can’t get home fast enough. 

He isn’t that obvious, is he? He has been so careful not to look for longer than appropriate, even though Mingyu is so achingly beautiful whenever he throws his head back in laughter or smiles that wolfish grin of his that Wonwoo could stare until the seasons changed. He avoids looking at Mingyu whenever he has a girl in his lap, knowing that even a blind person would be able to read the jealousy written all over his face. After gym class, in the locker rooms, Wonwoo keeps his eyes fixed on the floor with a certain determination. But in the corners of his eyes, he still catches glimpses of tanned, golden skin. Just knowing that Mingyu is half-naked beside him is enough to have heat shivering in his belly. 

Mingyu has always been physically affectionate but no one ever doubts his sexuality. Wonwoo is more careful. Doesn’t touch unless he is touched first. Tries not to return the hugs Mingyu gives so freely. He knows that if he does, he would be reluctant to let go. 

He expresses an appropriate amount of enthusiasm for girls. He has even kissed one, just to be able to say he has done it. 

So what gave him away?

“And how do I look at you?” Wonwoo asks. He surprises himself with how steady his voice is. His hands, however, are shaking, and he stuffs them into the pockets of his trousers.

“Like you want to… Ugh! I can’t even say it. It’s fucking weird.” Mingyu shudders and makes a face.

It stings to hear that coming from Mingyu’s mouth. If Wonwoo had, even for a second, entertained the thought of confessing to Mingyu before then, his courage would have left him at this moment. But he never intended to confess in the first place, and this serves to reaffirm his decision.

“I mean, you’re not like that, are you?” asks Mingyu. He bends over, gets into Wonwoo’s space to peer at him, obnoxious in his curiosity. 

Slow and careful, Wonwoo says, “You honestly think I have a crush on you? You are so arrogant. You really think everyone wants a piece of you, don’t you?”

Mingyu laughs. His worries have been eased by Wonwoo’s typical, aloof response. “Who wouldn’t want to date me?”

Wonwoo wishes he could say, “Not me.”

* 

Mingyu is only sixteen, an entire year younger than Wonwoo, but already he looks like a man. His dark hair has been bleached by the summer sun, shines tawny under the light of day. His skin glows a sun-kissed bronze whereas Wonwoo is a sickly porcelain. His shoulders have broadened out in the month since Wonwoo last saw him, at the start of summer break. He is wearing a white t-shirt that sticks to his muscled chest with sweat. The sleeves of his shirt have been rolled up to reveal rounded biceps. The muscles of his thighs peek out from beneath his shorts. He has been hauling boxes all summer, helping his father out with the moving business. It shows.

It must be criminal for someone to look this handsome, Wonwoo thinks with a dry mouth. A hot curl of desire expands in his stomach. The sun beats down hot, but Wonwoo doesn't think the weather alone is cause for the heat that prickles under his skin and collects between his legs.

God, he wants Mingyu. He had hoped the time away from Mingyu would put an end to his fruitless crush, and for a moment the distance seemed to ease his aches. He had been able to go entire stretches of hours without thinking about Mingyu, preoccupied with the supernatural sights of British Columbia. But now he sees Mingyu before him and he wants. He wants, he wants, he wants—with a vengeance that hadn't been there before, as though his heart is trying to make up for the weeks they spent apart while Wonwoo was on vacation. He looks away before Mingyu can read the desire in his eyes. In his ribcage, his heart flips and flops, seems to strain in Mingyu's direction.

Wonwoo isn’t the only one to notice the changes in Mingyu this summer. Mingyu has never had a problem attracting girls with his warmth and sharp smile. Guys, too, for that matter. But now, Wonwoo can't seem to get him alone. Mingyu plays football and basketball with his jock friends, spends his evening with girls.

Mingyu spends time with any girl who asks. It makes Wonwoo wonder if Mingyu would have given him a chance if he were born a girl.

In the last week of the summer before Mingyu enters grade eleven and Wonwoo enters his final year of high school, Mingyu invites him to bonfire night on Guryongpo Beach. Wonwoo doesn't want to go. He won't know a single person there. The crowd will mostly be Mingyu's friends. The thought of spending all night stuck to Mingyu's side like a barnacle puts a ball of anxiety in Wonwoo's chest. He has no interest in watching girls drape themselves over Mingyu. He doesn't want to see Mingyu roughhouse with the other guys. Already, he doesn't know how he is supposed to fit in Mingyu's life anymore. Bonfire night would just make things worse.

But Mingyu begs and begs him to go, complaining that they never spend time together anymore, to which Wonwoo wants to respond, "And who's fault is that?" because Wonwoo is always hovering at the edges, waiting for Mingyu to look at him.

Mingyu wears him down, and Wonwoo relents, as he eventually knew he would. He has never been able to say no to Mingyu. Wonwoo, in turn, begs Minghao to join him, bribing him with spicy ginger beef from his favourite Chinese place.

As predicted, Wonwoo spends the entire night watching Mingyu get close to other people. 

Mingyu is made for nights like this. He is the center of attention, burns brighter than the bonfire that flickers high beside him. The cool night breeze off the water musses his already disheveled hair. At some point in the night, he lost his shirt. He is loud and gorgeous and untouchable and it hurts to look at him.

Wonwoo is sitting on a plastic mat at the far reaches of the bonfire. An outsider looking in. Minghao sits beside him.

"How long?" Minghao asks.

The question comes out of nowhere. Wonwoo doesn't know what Minghao is talking about. "How long, what?"

"How long have you liked Mingyu for?"

Wonwoo whips his head around him to see if anyone overheard. No one is paying attention to them, engrossed in their own circles of conversation.

"Jesus, don't say that so loudly," Wonwoo grumbles.

"No one gives a shit about us," Minghao says. "So. Are you going to answer my question?"

Wonwoo shrugs, uncomfortable. He has spent so long guarding his secret, and just like that, it is out. "It's been a while, I guess." Three years and counting. He didn't think teenage crushes were supposed to last this long. "Was I obvious?"

"A little. To me, at least. I don't think Mingyu noticed, if that's what you're asking. But he's bound to, if you keep looking at him the way you are right now."

Wonwoo brings his knees to his chest and wraps his arms around them. Stares at his thighs.

Minghao laughs. "Do you ever plan on telling him?"

"No. Why would I do that? I'm not an idiot. He's not even gay."

*

In his first year of university, Mingyu starts dating Yoo Jeongyeon, a second-year nursing student. Jeongyeon is whip-smart and witty and boundlessly generous. And of course, she is gorgeous, too.

"Damn!" Mingyu would say, scrolling through his camera roll after taking selfies with Jeongyeon. "We'd make some good looking babies."

Wonwoo has already accepted that one day, Mingyu will fall in love with someone that isn't him, but hearing those words still makes his throat close up with panic. Jokes about having kids and getting married aren't often jokes. They are coverups for latent desires. Given Mingyu's dating history, he hadn't expected their relationship to last this long, but they have been dating for half a year now, and Mingyu still grins like an idiot when he talks about her.

They are at the campus library, him and Mingyu, supposed to be studying for midterms. Instead, Wonwoo has just read the same damn sentence in his psychology textbook for the twentieth time, and Mingyu is still talking about Jeongyeon. Hasn't shut up about her since they first sat down fifteen minutes ago.

Wonwoo has long since stopped being able to smile back at Mingyu whenever he gets like this. Now, he only sits there in silence and nods, feeling like a shitty friend because he is two seconds away from telling Mingyu to shut up. _ I get it _ , he wants to say. Jeongyeon is smart and funny and beautiful and so easy to love. Now shut up, shut up,  _ shut up. _

"... can't believe she's dating a dumbass like me. Hey, are you evening listening to me?"

"No," Wonwoo says before he can stop himself.

"Oh. Well, I was saying—"

"I don't care, Mingyu. I really don't. You're my best friend and I'm happy for you—" What a lie that is; Wonwoo is not that selfless, "—but can you stop talking about Jeongyeon for two fucking seconds? She's all you talk about anymore and it's annoying. If the only reason you wanted to study together was so you could tell me about how smart Jeongyeon is, then I'm just going to leave."

He doesn't want to leave, not really. This is the only thing he and Mingyu do together anymore: study. The rest of Mingyu's free time is eaten up by Jeongyeon or their mutual friends. So Wonwoo wants this time together, just him and Mingyu.

The smile slips off Mingyu's face, replaced by a look of hurt. "Sorry. I didn't know it bothered you."

"Well, it does," Wonwoo grunts. He feels ugly and hateful. He wishes his jealousy hadn't come out like that. Why couldn't he have just said that he misses his best friend? That he misses it being about the two of them.

He turns away to root through his backpack. He doesn't even need anything from his bag. It is just to give him something to do. His nose and eyes prickle with the telltale signs of tears. He is the one who hurt Mingyu, so why is he the one who feels like crying?

When Mingyu and Jeongyeon break up a month later, he can't help but feel that it is his fault.

*

Wonwoo scrapes together every ounce of his courage and says to Mingyu: "I love you as in: I'm  _ in _ love with you. As in, romantic, sexual love." It is the single bravest, yet stupidest thing he has ever done.

Mingyu rewards his efforts by laughing in his face.

He hadn't expected Mingyu to like him back, but the reaction still guts him. Wonwoo suspects it would have hurt less if Mingyu drove a fist into his solar plexus. He folds into himself, feeling small and like an immense fucking idiot. His nose prickles, a sign of incoming tears that he refuses to let fall; Mingyu looks guilty enough as it is without Wonwoo crying. 

Mingyu stumbles through an apology.

Wonwoo wants out of the conversation. He isn't sure how he convinced himself into confessing in the first place. He puts on a tough front, plays it all off like it isn't a big deal. Graciously, Mingyu plays along.

Wonwoo flees their apartment, steps out into the January dark to lick his wounds in private. The night breeze is biting cold, but under his collar, he feels hot with shame. His eyes burn and his throat has gone tight as though there is a ball lodged inside.

It takes weeks for the embarrassment to dissolve, though residue remains.

And then Mingyu sets him up with Lee Chan. To help him move on.

It is like adding water to the residuals of his humiliation. The granules of his embarrassment expand to fill the spaces between every atom of his being. Wonwoo feels like a big, walking embarrassment. His crush is trying to set him up with other people, trying to divert his affections. How pathetic Mingyu must think he is.

He understands the message loud and clear: Mingyu doesn't want him.

*

In between his classes, Wonwoo visits Junhui at the cafe. Junhui has convinced Joshua to switch breaks with him, and now they sit in the back corner of the shop, sharing a slice of chocolate mousse cake. Though "sharing" might not be the right word for it—Junhui only takes one bite before pushing the plate toward Wonwoo. At this rate, Wonwoo is going to gain ten pounds by the end of the month.

"Does Mingyu not like me?" Junhui asks.

Wonwoo cuts his spoon through the soft mousse and raises it to his mouth. The taste of deep, rich chocolate spreads across his palate and he hums, pleased.

Now that he thinks about it, Mingyu does seem to act colder toward Junhui. Mingyu hasn't made the effort to get to know Junhui the way Wonwoo's other friends had, but it isn't like he ignores Junhui or anything like that. He says hi... So long as Junhui says hi first. It wouldn't be strange if Wonwoo were that aloof, but Mingyu is one of the warmest and friendliest people Wonwoo knows. Every friend Wonwoo has made, he met through Mingyu first. Mingyu's special talent is befriending anyone, even the cashier who bags his groceries. So it is a bit uncharacteristic for Mingyu to act so coolly.

Carefully, Wonwoo says, "I don't think he doesn't  _ not _ like you."

"What?" Junhui says with a laugh. "That sentence made no sense."

"I don't think you're his favourite person, but I think he likes you just fine. Why do you ask?"

Junhui shrugs. "I catch him glaring at me once in a while."

"Really? That's odd." Mingyu loves people. Doesn't have one hateful bone in his body.

Junhui nods. "You know what? I think he's jealous."

"Jealous?"

"Yeah." Junhui reaches for Wonwoo's hand, which rests on the table between them. He raises Wonwoo's hands to his lips and presses a kiss to the knuckles. His mouth curls into a mischievous smile. "I think he's jealous because he wants you, but I got to you before he did."

Wonwoo laughs. "That's ridiculous. Mingyu is my friend. He doesn't want me. If he's jealous, it's because he's upset I don't have time to play Overwatch with him anymore."

"Hmm... I don't think that's it," Junhui says, and then changes the subject.

Wonwoo thinks he begins to notice what Junhui is talking about, though he can’t be sure if he is reading too much into it. This is what Wonwoo has noticed: Mingyu going quiet whenever Wonwoo brings Junhui up. The little barbs and backhanded compliments Mingyu gives Junhui. Wonwoo thinks he sees the glares, too.

It turns out it Junhui wasn’t being so ridiculous after all.

On his birthday, Mingyu kisses him. A gentle press of the lips that tips Wonwoo's world on its axis. The blood roars in his head, surges through his veins. This is everything he has ever longed for: their lips together, Mingyu's scent in his nose, Mingyu's hand cupping his neck like Wonwoo is a precious thing.

Junhui was right. Mingyu wants him.

Mingyu is kissing him. Kissing him, kissing him, kissing him.

And he isn't kissing back.

He sets out to amend that. It takes a concentrated effort to force movement back into his frozen limbs. He raises his hand to settle his fingertips on Mingyu's jaw. The moan that escapes him is wispy and pathetic, but Mingyu seems to awaken from the sound.

Suddenly, Wonwoo finds himself on Mingyu's lap, manhandled there with an ease that has fire collecting between his legs. Mingyu is kissing him hard, with the sort of desperation that Wonwoo himself feels, but never thought would be matched by the boy, and then man, he has loved for the greater part of his life.

Wonwoo moans again. Wraps his arms around Mingyu's neck, pushing their chests together. He shifts and finds that Mingyu is hard. Oh gods, Mingyu is hard. And it is because of him. He grinds down once more to feel Mingyu's want.

His chest grows unbearably tight. He hasn't been able to breathe the entire time, overwhelmed by the moment. Mingyu's large and warm hands creep under his shirt, rucking it up, and Wonwoo rips away with a gasping inhale.

"Mingyu—wait," he says, breathless. In his chest, his heart pounds at double time. "Wait, wait, wait."

"What?" Mingyu is panting, too.

"What are you doing? What are we doing? What am  _ I _ doing?" Wonwoo asks.

“We’re kissing. I’m kissing you. I’m gonna take your shirt off. I’m gonna get you out of your pants. And then I’m gonna make you feel so good. Gonna suck—”

Wonwoo slaps his hand over Mingyu's mouth to shut him up. His cheeks feel like they're on fire. “But why are you doing this? I mean, I thought—I thought you didn’t… You know."  _ I thought you didn't like me. _ Have things changed? He has to know. Part of him still thinks this is a dream, even though Mingyu feels solid and real against him. He has to hear it for himself, that Mingyu likes him.

Because Mingyu does, doesn't he? He wouldn't be doing this otherwise.

Mingyu grins that canine grin of his. "Well, I do. And it's your birthday, so I thought I'd do something a little special for you."

"What?"

“Happy birthday! I’m your present. You didn’t think I just got you cake, did you?”

It takes a moment for the words to sink in, and it takes a beat longer for their meaning to register.

Wonwoo's heart sinks. Drops down to settle in his toes. He didn't think moods could change this fast. One second he is flying, the next second it feels like all the strings have been cut.

"Birthday sex," Wonwoo says. A tremor begins building in his voice. "Your idea of a birthday present is sucking my cock."

“Yes? I mean, I’m a little short on cash right now, and that’s something you want, isn’t it? It’s a win-win situation."

Wonwoo considers himself to be a patient person, but even he can only take so much. He has been worn thin from trying to repair the cracks in his heart. From quietly loving Mingyu from afar for so long. From watching people take from him what he has always wanted. Always being at Mingyu's beck and call. Entertaining all the dates Mingyu had set him up on.

Wonwoo opens his mouth, and before he has even figured out what he's going to say, the words spill from his tongue, rising heated and furious from a place deep within him that he didn't even know existed.

"You must think it’s hilarious to fuck with my feelings like this. You know, for a second, you made me think that, just maybe, you liked me too, because you always acted like a jealous brat whenever I was with Junhui, and then you pull something like this, but… But you were going to have sex with me, not because you want me, but because it’s my birthday? Because you think I’m pathetic enough to take any opportunity I have to sleep with you?" 

The worst part is, Wonwoo truly is that pathetic. If Mingyu had propositioned him like this months ago, before Wonwoo started going out on all those stupid dates, he would have agreed to it. Would have agreed to anything that would make Mingyu put his hands on him. Now, he just feels tired. 

"You’re un-fucking-believable, Mingyu. I can’t. I just—can’t. You are the biggest asshole I have ever met.” Wonwoo's voice cracks, and fuck, now he is crying, and Mingyu is looking at him with this pitying, torn-up expression. He can't take it. He knocks away Mingyu's hand and storms out of their apartment, slamming the door behind him.

*

Wonwoo has loved Mingyu so much for so long. He has spent hours and hours thinking about what it might be like if they were together. He thinks about Mingyu touching him, kissing him. He thinks about Mingyu telling him that he likes him. Maybe even loves him.

He didn't expect any of those things to happen. But they did. Wonwoo has felt Mingyu's lips moving against his, has felt Mingyu's erection nudging against his own.

It is a moment pulled out of his daydreams. Mingyu says to him: “I like you. I want to take you out to fancy restaurants and book signings for your favourite author. I want to make you laugh and hold your hand and kiss you. I don’t want it to be Chan or Vernon or Junhui, or whoever else. I want it to be you and me.”

And Wonwoo panics. He has spent so long wanting Mingyu, fantasizing about it, that part of him wants it to remain that way: a fantasy.

It shouldn't even be a problem. Mingyu likes him. He likes Mingyu. The natural course of events indicates that they should try dating next. Instead, what happens is that Mingyu confesses, and Wonwoo starts crying and asks Mingyu to leave.

Because in reality, Wonwoo is terrified by the thought of being anything more than friends with Mingyu. They fit together as friends. Wonwoo worries that they won't fit together as boyfriends. He worries about the inevitable fights. Mingyu seemed to have no problem kissing him, but he has never been with another man; the thought had never even crossed his mind until Wonwoo put it there. Wonwoo worries that he will take off his shirt and his pants, and Mingyu will see his cock hanging between his legs, and decide that he prefers girls after all. He worries that one day, Mingyu will tire of him, and he will lose his partner as well as his best friend.

Things are messy, too, because Wonwoo has been dating Junhui. Felt that he was finally, finally, ready to shake free of the trap that Mingyu had ensnared him in. Only now, it seems like Mingyu has no intention of letting him go.

It's not fair. To him, or Junhui.

Kim Mingyu is unfair: the way he looks, the way he has always commanded Wonwoo's attention.

Wonwoo lets it stew. Needs to work out his own tangle of feelings. He wants Mingyu to be sure of him. And call him petty, but for once, he wants Mingyu to be the one staring after him.

And god, does Mingyu stare.

Wonwoo can feel Mingyu's heated gaze prickling on the back of his neck. Mingyu's eyes track him from the other side of the room. He doesn't want to assume, but thinks it might be longing. The thought of Mingyu longing for him is wild and wondrous.

It takes days before Wonwoo feels ready to turn his head to meet Mingyu's eyes. The first time it happens, Mingyu whips his head away so fast Wonwoo fears it will give him whiplash. But then Mingyu is turning back to him, sheepish, cheeks rosy. He smiles, a barely-there curve of his lips.

Wonwoo smiles back.

"You forgave him too easily," Minghao says. He looks disgusted.

But what else can Wonwoo do? He has always been a little—a lot—stupid for Mingyu.

*

Junhui bears down on him. Wonwoo is pressed into the corner of the sofa, caged in by Junhui's forearms on either side of his head. Wonwoo moans softly, letting his mouth be coaxed open by Junhui's tongue. His fingers clutch at Junhui's shoulders. He loves the way Junhui kisses: sweet, yet insistent. Loves the way Junhui either pins him to a surface or puts a hand on the back of Wonwoo's neck whenever he puts his mouth on Wonwoo's.

Wonwoo tells himself that he loves this, and yet he can't help but compare it to the kiss he shared with Mingyu. Mingyu, who had gripped his hips so hard that Wonwoo woke to bruises the next day on his skin. Mingyu, who kissed him gently at first, then with raw hunger and desperation, tongue demanding entrance as though it were his right.

Wonwoo drags himself back to the present. He isn’t going to think about Mingyu while kissing Junhui. He isn’t reeling from a kiss that had happened a week ago. He isn’t.

Junhui slips a hand beneath his shirt, sliding a heated palm over his flank.

Wonwoo breaks the kiss, catching Junhui’s wrist before his shirt can be pushed up any further. “Um—”

Junhui huffs out a frustrated breath. “Right. Sorry. Got carried away.”

With a sigh, Junhui pushes himself off Wonwoo and plops down on the other side of the sofa. He runs a hand through his hair. The mood dissipates. 

When they first started dating, Junhui had been charmed by his lack of experience and had relished teaching Wonwoo how to kiss. He thought it was adorable that Wonwoo wanted to take things slow. It is different now. As much as Junhui insists he doesn’t mind, Wonwoo can feel the edge of his disappointment every time they stop before things turn heated.

“I’m sorry,” Wonwoo murmurs. He is sorry about not feeling ready for more. Mostly, he is sorry about wanting someone else. He sits up, pulling his shirt down to cover his stomach.

“It’s fine.”

“Is it?” 

Junhui hesitates before answering. “It does bother me, but not for the reason you think. I’ve had this on my mind for a while now, so I’m going to put this out there.”

Wonwoo can hear it in his tone. Whatever Junhui has to say, it isn’t going to be good. 

“Sometimes it feels like you’re not into me romantically. I’m not saying this because we haven’t gotten past kissing or anything—you know I don’t mind waiting—but our dates don’t feel like dates. It feels like two dudes chilling and sharing food. I don’t know if it’s just me. I get that we’re just dating for now, but can you be honest with me? Can you see yourself as my boyfriend, maybe not right at this moment, but maybe in the future? I didn’t want to rush you into this, but I… Well, to be blunt, it kind of seems like you’re already set on someone else.”

Wonwoo’s face goes hot with a mixture of shame and embarrassment and guilt. Lately, that seems to be a common occurrence. He wants to fall in love with Junhui, he does. Junhui is drop-dead gorgeous. Killer smile and sense of humour. They share a lot of interests, which means they always have things to do and talk about. Given time, he thought he would have been able to fall for Junhui, because who in the right mind wouldn’t fall a little bit in love with Junhui?

But if he’s honest with himself, he can no longer see that happening. Not now that he knows how Mingyu’s lips move against his, now that he knows Mingyu feels for him, too. And in truth, it never would have worked between him and Junhui, anyway. 

Mingyu is  _ it _ for him. 

All Wonwoo can say is, “Sorry.” 

A flash of hurt cross Junhui’s face and flickers away with the next blink. “Okay. Thanks for being honest with me.”

Again, Wonwoo says, “I’m sorry. I wasted your time.”

Junhui waves away his apology. “It’s why we dated casually in the first place, right? To feel things out and see if we could be good together. I’m upset things won’t work out between us, but it doesn’t mean you wasted my time. You’re cute and funny and I liked hanging out with you.”

It feels like there’s a walnut lodged in Wonwoo’s throat. Junhui is more than he deserves. “I liked hanging out with you, too.” Tentatively, Wonwoo asks, “Do you think we can still be friends?”

“Sure,” says Junhui. “But I think the best thing for us right now would be some space.”

*

Now that he and Junhui are no longer dating, and his friendship with Mingyu has been so strained and frayed that they are hardly ever in the apartment at the same time, Wonwoo has more free time than he knows what to do with. For the first time in his entire program, he doesn’t feel like he’s drowning in assignments. 

Friday night, they both stay in. Wonwoo has an assignment to finish up, and Mingyu has found a new anime to watch. 

Wonwoo submits his assignment with three hours to spare. He closes all his research tabs with a satisfying click. He pushes himself back from his desk and stretches his arms overheard, the bones in his back cracking. It is only 8:58 PM. It is quiet in the apartment. He wonders if Mingyu slipped out while he was preoccupied with school work. 

He pokes his head out of his bedroom to check. 

The television is set to the lowest volume, a gentle murmur of voices. There is a pile of blankets on the couch, and beneath them, a Mingyu-shaped lump. Wonwoo huffs at the sight. This is why he can’t stay mad at Mingyu for long: Mingyu is soft and adorable, and he knows it. Probably uses— _ abuses _ —it to his advantage. 

Wonwoo doesn’t want to be angry anymore. It is exhausting. This is their longest fight yet. They have exchanged no more than a few terse words. On Wonwoo’s part, at least. Mingyu always looks like he wants to say more, before clamping his mouth shut and hitting Wonwoo with puppy eyes so pathetic it physically hurts to ignore them. 

Wonwoo wants his best friend back. He wants to repair his relationship with Mingyu, but he doesn’t know how. It doesn’t seem right, to go crawling back to Mingyu just days after ending things with Junhui. Mingyu seems to be waiting for him to make the first move; Wonwoo can feel Mingyu’s eyes on him whenever they are in the same room. 

Taking a deep breath, he calls out, “You plan to stay there all night, or do you want to play Overwatch with me? 

It is the first olive branch he has extended in weeks. And an olive branch it is: he doesn’t give a damn about Overwatch, has never been able to understand the hype surrounding it. When he told Mingyu this, Mingyu had laughed and said, “Only because you suck at it. Come on, I’ll teach you,” and Wonwoo had grumbled, “Fine,” because Mingyu laughed so hard he toppled onto his back whenever Wonwoo missed what was supposed to be an effortless killing blow, and Wonwoo loved the sound of Mingyu’s laughter, and he loved knowing that he was the cause of it. Wasting hours learning how to play a game he didn’t care about was worth it when Mingyu threw an arm around him, pressing his nose into the curve of Wonwoo’s neck to muffle his laughter. 

Mingyu pokes his head out from beneath the covers. His eyes are wide and hopeful in the blue-white glare of the television. “Are you talking to me?”

“Can’t imagine who else I would be talking to.”

Mingyu blinks at him. Then, a slow grin spreads across his face, like dawn breaking over the horizon.

*

After that, it gets easier to be around each other. Wonwoo no longer finds an excuse to leave the room whenever Mingyu walks in. They start sharing breakfast in the morning again, and sometimes, when Wonwoo is studying late into the night at the campus library, Mingyu will drop by with dinner. It is sweet, how much Mingyu goes out of his way to make sure that Wonwoo is fed. Wonwoo returns the favour by doing Mingyu’s share of the chores.

Sometimes, Wonwoo will catch Mingyu looking at him with a sort of wondrous look in his eyes. It makes him go warm inside. He has imagined for so long what it might feel like for Mingyu to look at him in this way that he doesn’t know how to act now that it is happening. He feels clumsy and gormless, stumbling on his words. Fingers fumbling and dropping dishes into the sink as he and Mingyu wash up after dinner.

A dish slips out of his hands for the third time, cracking in half. He reaches for the broken shards, but Mingyu nudges him aside.

“I got it,” Mingyu says. He picks up the fragments, wraps them in a paper towel and then ties them up in a plastic bag.

_ Jeez _ , thinks Wonwoo. He has been enjoying receiving all this attention from Mingyu. It makes him feel spoiled. 

“You seem distracted tonight,” Mingyu comments. 

Wonwoo is distracted because Mingyu is distracting. Their kitchen is small and cramped enough as it is. With two of them at the sink, bumping elbows and hips are inevitable. Every time Mingyu moves into his space, Wonwoo gets a whiff of his cologne, a masculine citrus and sandalwood. 

“Just thinking about what I have to get done this weekend,” Wonwoo says, vague.

Mingyu hums. They are quiet for a moment as they finish up the rest of the washing. Then, Mingyu asks, hesitant, “So I noticed that we never go to 17 Carat anymore. Is everything alright between you and Junhui?”

Wonwoo has been trying to figure out how to bring it up without making it seem like an invitation that he is single and ready to mingle—even though it is partially true. He licks his lips. “We’re not dating anymore.”

“I see. Can I ask why?”

“No,” Wonwoo says shortly. How is he supposed to say that Mingyu is the reason? 

Then he kicks himself for his response. That single syllable gives everything away. He always tells Mingyu everything, and if he refuses to divulge the reason why he and Junhui broke up, it can only mean that Mingyu is the cause of it.

Mingyu must know this, judging by the way he draws his lower lip between his teeth to contain his reaction. Despite his efforts, the corners of his mouth curl up.

Heat rises in Wonwoo’s neck, crawls up his cheeks. Times like this, he hates how pale he is, how easily he colours. “I can see your head growing bigger. Get over yourself. Not everything is about you.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Mingyu says innocently.

* * *

**Mingyu** **   
** _ So its been like a month since Wonwoo and Junhui broke up _ _   
_ _ Should i…? _

**Jeonghan** **   
** _ GET IT BOY! _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg I'm sorry it took me so long to update, but I've been so busy with real life and this chapter refused to be written. To be honest, I'm still not satisfied with it, but I feel like I could tweak it for another month and I still wouldn't like it, so please... just take this... 
> 
> Anyway, there's just one more (short) chapter to go :D This fic ended up being about 10k words longer than I had intended it to be, so I'm glad it's going to be over soon.
> 
> Please leave some love ♡


	6. Chapter 6

Mingyu couldn’t decide how to approach Wonwoo. He debated between grand gestures and quietly taking Wonwoo’s hand while they were watching movies and whispering, “I like you.” Part of him still wondered if he should make a move at all. He kept replaying in his head the moment he told Wonwoo, “I want to make you laugh and hold your hand and kiss you,” and how in turn, Wonwoo had told him to leave. The rejection stung even though Mingyu knew it was his fault for going about his confession all wrong. Regardless, it made him question if Wonwoo still felt something—anything—for him. 

But he knew he didn’t want his relationship with Wonwoo to be a _ what-if. _

In the end, Mingyu stopped Wonwoo in the middle of the hall, blocking his passage to the living room. It was reminiscent of how Wonwoo had accosted him all those months ago. Mingyu had his hands fisted at his side. In his chest, his heart ran so wild he feared it would leap out his mouth. His skin felt hot and tight. It must have been worse for Wonwoo, who couldn’t have known Mingyu’s feelings and had expected rejection. At least Mingyu knew Wonwoo liked him.

Or had in the past, anyway.

“What are you doing?” asked Wonwoo, when his attempts to sidestep Mingyu were met by resistance.

“I need to know,” said Mingyu, “if I’ve missed my chance.” 

“What?”

Holy hell, how Wonwoo had confessed without shaking right out of his skin? How the hell had _ he _ been able to say he liked Wonwoo all those weeks ago?

Mingyu swallowed with an audible click. “It’s okay if I have. I mean, no. What am I saying? No, it’s not okay. It would suck a lot for me because I’ve been an idiot who couldn’t figure out what he wanted this entire time. Things have been messy between us, and it’s my fault. I know you used to like me, but I’ve been a huge asshole, so I would understand if you felt differently about me now. But do you—feel differently about me? I need to know, because I’ve sort of been driving myself crazy thinking about you and me, and what could happen between us.” 

The words spilled out of him, unfiltered and true. 

Wonwoo stared at him, wide-eyed and speechless. Mingyu would have laughed at the expression on Wonwoo’s face if he didn’t feel like throwing up. Wonwoo wore a look of pure shock, as if he never considered the possibility that Mingyu liked him back too, as if he thought Mingyu was talking out of his ass back when he said, “I want it to be you and me.”

“I’m saying I like you,” Mingyu said. “And I think I could grow to love you, if you gave me a chance. Um, that is, if you still like me, too. I would understand if you didn’t.” He knew he had hurt Wonwoo in ways that might not be repairable. Maybe between Wonwoo’s initial confession and all the dates he went on, Wonwoo’s feelings for him had fizzled out. When he learned that Wonwoo and Junhui broke up, Mingyu had thought it meant Wonwoo still felt something for him, but now he wasn’t sure.

Silence stretched between them. It unnerved him, made him feel weak in the knees. He wished Wonwoo would put him out of his misery.

“Mingyu.” Wonwoo stepped toward him, leaving less than a foot of space between them.

Mingyu fought the urge to take a step back. “Yes?”

“You think I don’t like you anymore?”

“Things can change. Especially since I turned you down at first. Plus you and Junhui…” Mingyu trailed off. He had been terrified that Wonwoo and Junhui were _ it _ for each other, wouldn’t have known what to do if they ended up becoming boyfriends.

For a moment: nothing. Then, Wonwoo sighed, fond. “Oh, Mingyu. I’ve liked you for what—ten years? Did you really think I could get over you just like that?”

“I don’t know. Maybe?”

Wonwoo was smiling now, the really cute smile where the corners of his eyes crinkled and the slightest hint of teeth was visible. His nose scrunched. This was a promising reaction, and it made Mingyu’s heart turn to goo. 

“Does that mean you like me?” Mingyu asked, to make extra sure.

“Yes. I like you,” said Wonwoo, easy as anything. His smile had broken into a grin.

“O-okay,” Mingyu stammered, overwhelmed. Was this really happening right now? “That’s good. Excellent, in fact.”

Wonwoo nodded, encouraging.

This was the part where Mingyu was supposed to do something, but he couldn’t figure out what. He was drawing a blank. “Uh, I didn’t plan on making it this far, to be honest. What do we do now?”

“Hm,” said Wonwoo. “Would you like to kiss me?” 

“Yes!” Mingyu shouted, wincing after. He reeled himself back in. He cleared his throat and tried not to sound too eager when he said, “Yes. I would like to kiss you.”

Wonwoo closed the last of the distance between them. He had his face tipped up, expectant, because Mingyu was a hand’s width taller than him, and wow, Mingyu should not love that as much as he did. 

Mingyu framed Wonwoo’s jaw with his fingertips, brushing the baby-soft skin of Wonwoo’s earlobes. Then, he licked his lips and leaned in, slotting their mouths together. Something inside him shivered at first contact.

Mingyu let his eyelids flutter shut. He thought it would be strange, crossing this boundary between friends and lovers, but it wasn’t. It felt easy. Feeling Wonwoo’s body warm and solid against his own, their lips moving together… It was as natural as breathing. He slid his hand to cup the nape of Wonwoo’s neck. His other arm went to wrap around Wonwoo’s waist, holding him in place. Wonwoo’s hands rose to curl into Mingyu’s shirt. 

He knew he had a lot to make up to Wonwoo. He had to make up for being an asshole, for making Wonwoo wait all these years. He didn’t want to get ahead of himself and talk about forever. He knew he had a tendency to fall too easily and then his love would burn out like a flash fire. But kissing Wonwoo felt right in a way nothing else ever had. He had meant every word when he said he thought he could fall in love with Wonwoo, given the time.

They parted on a sigh. Wonwoo’s cheeks were beautifully flushed, lips glistening and ravished red. Mingyu rested his forehead against Wonwoo’s, tipped his chin forward to steal one more kiss. Then, he settled, inhaling Wonwoo’s exhales. 

“Thank you,” Mingyu whispered, “for giving me a chance to be yours.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaannnd that's it, folks ٩(｡•́‿•̀｡)۶! I pretty much never write anything longer than 10k words, so this was quite an accomplishment for me. I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it! Thank you to everyone who left kudos and lovely comments to keep me going, and thank you to those who just read silently, as well. 
> 
> As I mentioned before, I have an ABO meanie fic in the works, so please look forward to that in the near future. Also, I invite you to come talk to me on [tumblr](https://lillupon.tumblr.com/) or in the comments about Mingyu and Wonwoo. There's honestly such a minwon drought right now. I have no one to share my love with (｡•́︿•̀｡)


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